You might have thought by my title that we were going to talk about politics or diversity.  While both of those topics figure highly in my day-to-day thinking, conversation, and even teaching, today's musing is not about those things. This musing is about the swath of colors that make up our emotional skyline.  Our Rainbow Hearts.  

When we talk about emotional intelligence or resilience, it may conjure some images or goals for you.  Such as a precocious, adult-like 4 year-old.  Or not being angry.  Or not sobbing.  Or being able to maintain composure and keep it together (my personal favorite).  Being equanimous in the face of tumult. Being amiable and likable.  

We learn from very early on that some emotions are 'okay' and some are kind of inconvenient.  Parents, teachers, and general order often tell us so.  Even when there is space for less convenient emotions to leak out (i.e. it's okay to cry when you fall down), you must quickly and deftly tend to that leak. 

Ever had a leaky facuet in your bathroom or kitchen?  How annoying is that?! Don't be a leaky facucet.  

I interact with my world mostly in a kinesthetic way.  I am best when I tend to my physicality, whether in motion or at rest.  I 'get information' from my world in my body.  Meaning, when I am around someone I get a physical sensation of whether they are sad, mad, or glad.  Even colors have a physical effect on me.  It took me awhile to realize this, and really changed how I sought refuge and cared for myself.  

(Stay with me here, we are getting closer to the end of the rainbow)  

Think about how it feels to be in a beige room.  Equanimous, amiable, and possibly likable.  Perhaps there is a slash of red in there, maybe a throw pillow or a vase.  Definitely more interesting but not too wild.   

Now think about being in a rainbow room (maybe some of you have them in your homes right now....).  Wow, that is...frankly...overwhelming.  

Rainbows are freaking beautiful and magical.  They stop traffic, pull us outside in the rain, and take our breath away.  Are they complete without ALL of their colors? Are WE complete without all of our colors?

Our emotional landscape is either beige, vaguely interesting, or freaking beautiful and magical, and so are our versions of emotional intelligence and resilience.  

I submit to you that we cannot be emotionally intelligent, resilient, and complete beings without tasting the rainbow.  And that your versions of what is means to be resilient are not colorful enough.  And possibly not beautiful and magical enough to match this beautiful and magical life.  

The next time you want to force your Rainbow Heart into a beige pullover, try it on. See how that feels.  We might suggest a wardrobe change.  

Take care of your Rainbow Hearts, Sunita