Than being interested or holding my attention. I think of being captivated as if being held captive...to your passion, your drive, your reason for being. Enchanted. Enamored. Enthralled. Words are so beautiful that way; in spite of their definitions they mean different things to us.
I am curious about your relationship to being captivated, and what captivates you. I am a person who gets captivated. I love to dive into projects, get mucky, make a ton of mistakes, and enjoy some surprising successes. The process of being in love with my world, my work, and my life is enchanting, enamoring, enthralling.
Many of you know that I have been teaching full-time- now back in person!! Alongside that work I have been
directing a project to co-create curriculum for K-3 educators related to mental and behavioral health awareness, literacy, and integration into teaching young kids. Aside from having captivated my hours, it's been an incredible process with loads of mistakes, successes,
so much mucky stuff, and real joy in getting to work with so many different kinds of people. Academics, clinicians, teachers, SEL (social-emotional learning) professionals, legislators, and my very amazing faculty team.
I have also had the opportunity to speak at handful on conferences and on
podcasts on the mental health of our kids, adolescents, as well as postpartum people. Suffice to say, I have been invigorated and captivated by my work again! It's incredibly gratifying and has led me reconfigure what I will do next as a clinician :). Honestly, what has happened for me
this year, is that I have been captivated by mental health. Professionally, for sure. And also personally.
Absolutely digging in and getting mucky, looking deeply at my own patterns and mistakes, witnessing how so much of life was not in service to me at all, despite being in service to others. I won't lie, it's been real ugly at times y'all. And also I've been enchanted, enamored, and enthralled with the process of being in love. With me.
So, my wish for you is to look at even the most miniature places in your lives where you are in love. Enchanted. Captivated. Those are more hard won than you may have imagined.
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Many of you also know that I am working on my book! I have been attached to creating a book that felt more consistent with my doctor/professor self. But really, that's not the only person who is writing this book, because it's not the whole of who I am. I am a writer and a poet, and she is also going to write this book too :)
Thinking about being captivated and enamored, I want to share this with you. Enjoy and take care of your captivated hearts! -Sunita
Looking at You Beside Me
Stand with me here, my love
I need you to see what I see
Brows softer and ever so slightly thinner at the edges
The space between more vacant than it was
In the time and impulsive moment I decided to shave my unibrow before dinner
The creases under my left eye are deeper than my right
The fur lining my upper lip now drifting southward to my chin
Spots. So many new spots
Some remnants of pox, some souvenirs from Maui sun
Many just loitering with no apparent company or purpose
The gentle draw of my lips at their edges downward
Dimpling and distinguished now, moving steadily toward jowls
Like an adorably aged Boxer
Now that you say that, I see those things, my love
I have always seen them
Appraised them
Adored them
Every thread missing from your brow belongs now
To the babes and parents you furrowed in worry and hope for
Every glisten of silver in the sides of your hair
A testament to the color and flavor you have brought
To the world around you
Every bit of fur, your growing softness
In this harsh and bitter life concoction
Every movement of your mouth cultivating you
As an old dog
A faithful companion
As someone who has never held back her voice
Her ebullience
Even her bark or bite
To simply be agreeable
So, yes, I will stand here with you
And see what you see
I hope it is as redolent
And savory
As it is to me
