So, the mistake I made was coming back before I was ready. The letters went out, the action was taken, and then the overwhelm came in and I ran and hid for a while again.
What I have learnt from my years in limbo is to listen, really listen to my gut and follow it. For me, my gut is my Soul speaking. It knows 100% what is right and there are far too many times in my past when I have ignored it, ended up a creek without a paddle and then berated myself for not listening in the first place. Why do we do this? Why do we not trust our instincts? More about that later....