““Yes, your transformation will be hard. Yes, you will feel frightened, messed up and knocked down. Yes, you’ll want to stop. Yes, it’s the best work you’ll ever
do."
- Robin Sharma -
Willow (name changed for privacy) came to me via referral from a previous client.
She’d had a tough childhood with various challenges. She had therapy as
a child, but it didn’t work for her. She went to several therapists and psychologists though felt the chemistry was lacking for her to trust them enough to go to deep, uncomfortable places.
She was on medication for many years to relieve depression and anxiety (a family issue). But then, about 5 years ago, she decided she did not want the medication route anymore and she started investigating
how to overcome her challenges in more natural ways. She found things like positive psychology, plant remedies, aromatherapy, and even EFT. She knew her Top 5 CliftonStrengths and felt proud of them.
Although she knew about those ‘helpers’ and used them to an extent, it was still hard for her to make enough progress by herself.
(Side Note: I’ve seen this many times for my clients and in my own life, dear reader. It is particularly hard to make progress on a long-standing issue that goes deep. We need support, kindness, and a space held by another person to see through all the layers that are keeping our issues in place.)
We met for a complimentary Chemistry session to see whether we’d be a
good fit. Willow mentioned what she wanted was an emotional coach. Someone who could teach and support her with emotional techniques… to help her decide what works and what doesn’t.
Willow’s Main Challenge: Panic attacks
One of the big challenges she faced was panic attacks, under very specific circumstances. If anyone mentioned being hurt, or when she saw blood and gore of
any kind, she would experience a panic attack to the point of losing consciousness. Even something random like pinching her finger in something small could set this off.
It was extremely scary for her. When she came around after such an event, people around her said it seemed like she was having a kind of fit. It took her a few seconds every time to figure out who and where she was. It felt like
she’d completely left her body.
The episodes were scary in themselves, but more so because she could not predict when they would happen. She could be anywhere – at home, at work, out shopping, with friends. It was embarrassing and awful for her that she could not control her body’s responses. She did not think it was possible to be completely free of these horrifying effects, but she at least
wanted some tools and techniques to use when they did occur.
She did see a psychiatrist about 2 weeks before our meeting. It sounded like epilepsy to him, but it wasn’t really frequent enough for that. She could trace every event to specific triggers that set off her body’s response. She did not want to go back on epilepsy medication (she’d been on it before) – because it would cause
unwanted changes in her brain again (like before).
She said: “If I could just calm myself down and catch myself before it gets to that fit!”
She also wanted help with her goals. She has a beautiful, creative mind with so many ideas that it was hard for her to focus on one at a
time.
After this beautiful Chemistry Call, we both felt we were a fit and that the skills and tools in my toolbox would support her.
Goals for our Work Together
When I start working with a new client, I ask them to set goals or intentions for our work together. Here are 2 of Willow’s 5
goals:
1. “I would like to have better control over my emotions - I would like to develop better coping mechanisms to tap into when things get very overwhelming. Similarly, I want to improve the way I respond and react to things. I want to be more present in my relationships and not "overreact" or allow things to get to me.”
2. “I would like to develop coping mechanisms for how to handle my intense panic attacks (in the case where people talk of blood or gore which makes me get lightheaded and eventually pass out).”
Sometimes clients have many goals, and I always ask, “What’s your priority
here?”
For Willow, this was:
“First and foremost - emotions. I would like to share my experience of becoming aware of them, and I'd like to learn how to handle them and understand and work with them.”
Our First Session
Willow let me know what she most wanted for the session: to work with her emotions, and how to become more aware of them and her thoughts. She wanted a physical coping method and was curious about how EFT might be able to support her. She wanted to find better ways to respond to triggers, big and small.
Our first session was focused on introducing Willow to EFT
gently.
When I know there is a lot under the surface especially, I introduce my clients to EFT with something completely unrelated to what they’re wanting help with. I first showed her the EFT points, and what we were going to do in a round. And then we applied a few rounds of EFT for some frustration around her boss.
Emotions show up
The tears started flowing for her, and the intensity went down very quickly with EFT. She shared afterward that as soon as we started tapping, her mind jumped to many judgmental and painful messages she’d received (from him and others) over the years. After just a few rounds of tapping, she was calmer and felt less bugged by those thoughts and memories.
For the rest of the session, we worked with various things that showed up: how her throat closes up when she feels emotional, pain there when she wants to say something but can’t, unfair expectations from others, anxiety before she does her teaching calls, getting nervous because of all their eyes on her. She became aware of sensations in her body when emotions were shifting..
We ended the session with some tapping for things she wanted to experience instead of what had been happening. We call this ‘Choices Tapping’ – we can build in some positive expectations which usually helps us feel much more hopeful.
At the end of the session, she said she felt calm, neutral, and nowhere near as emotional as at the beginning of the
session.
The journey
We met every 2 weeks for 3 months. In fact – we had only 5 sessions in total and then took a break.
During our 5 sessions, Willow experienced many instances of going from intense emotion to calm and relief after just a few minutes of tapping.
In every session, we worked with various aspects that led up to the panic attacks. We always used the ‘Gentle Techniques’ as we call them in EFT. They help us not to jump right back into the experiences (associate) – so that we are not flooded or overwhelmed by intensity. That’s no good. We did every session as safely and gently as possible, especially because emotions were already a scary thing for
her.
The first few times emotion showed up for her, she apologized. I gently reminded her that all emotions were welcome in our space. That is exactly why she was there – to learn how to welcome and deal with them, and not suppress or push them away.
She gradually settled into that possibility and no longer
apologised for emotions showing up by the last session.
I won’t share the details of every session because of very tender things.
Willow’s Results After 5 Sessions
We needed to pause her sessions for various reasons. At the end of every client journey (usually 3 -12 months), I schedule a
‘Celebration Session’ with them so we can go over their progress, what they accomplished through our work, where the next bits of progress need to be focused, and so on.
Willow’s Celebration session was delightful with so many highlights and I’ll share a few, specifically related to the 2 goals she had at the beginning of this article.
Here are some of her own
words:
“I became aware of emotional intelligence. The first and 2nd sessions blew me away. I could feel the overwhelm, sadness, and anxiety and with just sitting and tapping, and feeling it in my body, it would pass. It was transcending for me, an eye-opener. That in itself changed so much.
I learned that I
could feel the trigger and be a step ahead with “Oh, this is coming – I recognize this feeling.” Then, instead of pushing it away, I could think, “It’s okay to release emotions. These feelings are welcome!”. I use this a lot now!
I really feel the changes. My boyfriend can see the changes in me and our relationship. If he does trigger, me, I can catch it and not react. He was there
sometimes when I tapped with hectic stuff and he was like, “WOW!”. He can see how it works for me.
I recently visited my folks and a big thing happened. I called him on the phone. He said, “Willow, TAP!”. I did and once again couldn’t believe how well it worked.
Our work together
opened up some things about my childhood and upbringing that were suppressed or denied. Tapping allowed me to look at what was too overwhelming before. I can now look at it more objectively. There are more things I want to work with, and now I’m okay with the process and the time it will take to get there. That feels like a complete shift.
I’ve been to so many people before who did not help. I just
needed tools I could use! The insight I gained from you about how the brain and vagus nerve works, the eye-rolling thing, the humming and exercises I could do in different ways helped me so much.”
What was the main thing you wanted help with and how do you feel your progress was in that area?
"I wanted mainly to work on the fainting thing when I saw blood or noticed pain in myself or anyone else.
The issue is most definitely not the same! There have been 2 incidents that proved it to me: when I cut myself, and felt a lump on another
occasion.
This time, the overwhelm came but I didn’t faint! I tapped myself through it. My boyfriend was with me, and he saw the magic of tapping. It cut through the entire feeling.
I’m not as scared of it anymore. If it comes again, I know how to identify the sensations and emotions that lead
up to it, and I have tools to use.
I know I’m not fully healed from it. Blood is still a trigger, and I know I’ll be able to work through it. Even if I DO faint, that would also be okay. I’m not terrified of it anymore. If my body thinks it’s time to faint, I trust it now. I have a better relationship with my body and subconscious.
Before, I was not allowing these feelings. I was resisting the blood and fainting issue. I know I’m still healing, yet I’ve come such a long way.
I really feel what you gave me was the perfect recipe for me, it was exactly what I needed at the time.”
Summary
Every client’s journey is unique and beautiful. Willow’s story filled my heart with joy and immense gratitude for being alongside her as she experienced transformational changes.
It is awful to be terrified of emotions showing up, not know what to do with them, and feel completely out of control. These add more layers to already difficult
situations.
It was heart-warming to notice how Willow took EFT and the emotional awareness tools provided and ran with it. She made it her own.
Willow used EFT tapping ahead of a major stage event (she’s a wonderful performer!), as well as at other times when she felt tense, stressed, and
scared. She did not leave the tools behind in our sessions, and instead used them when she needed them.
I’m feeling so proud of and glad for her. EFT has been life-changing for Willow, and for me (and so many other clients).
Invitation
Is there an issue or fear holding you back from
living your best life?
If you want results like these, contact me here to apply for a Complimentary Chemistry Call. I currently
have 2 available slots in my client schedule.
Just so you know: there is no pressure in this call or afterward. It’s a lovely way to connect so I can hear more about the issue you want support with and to decide whether my the tools and methods can support you.
