“Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery."
Spike Milligan
"When one lives attached to money, pride or power,
It is impossible to be truly happy."
Pope Francis
I hope the first quote made you smile - it's obviously by a comedian. My husband introduced me to Spike Milligan many years ago and while I don't enjoy all his
silly humour, this one sure did make me smile! I find it quite true - how about you? On a bad day, a coffee and slice of cake at a gorgeous coffee shop really does lift my spirits! And if I didn’t have the money to pay for that simple pleasure, I’d feel even more grumpy.
The opposite is of course very true, too... money in itself cannot make us happy. There's enough research about unhappy, dissatisfied
millionaires, and famous stories of extremely rich people who still fear not having enough.
The topic of Money - an ‘inside job’
You might know that money is not my usual topic. My go-to’s are EFT, Strengths, and Health.
I want to acknowledge straight off the bat that I know this topic can bring up a lot. If you know tapping (EFT), I’d invite you to start tapping straight away as you read this. If you don’t know EFT, you could even put your hand on your heart and breathe a little slower and deeper, or use any other stress-relieving tool you know about.
These days, I use any
opportunity to use EFT to clear some of my distress over different topics so I can face life without all the heavy baggage. And I’d love to invite you to do the same. If ‘money’ is a topic you want to work on this year, I’ll mention 3 ways that could be helpful towards the end of the article.
Okay, ready? Start tapping!
Attachment and layers
I think one of the keys here is from Pope Francis: when we are attached to it… that’s when the 'pawpaw strikes the fan', as the saying goes in South Africa. That’s when money (and power and pride) can become a harmful thing.
Attachment
to anything can lead to disappointment, unmet expectations, heartache, sadness, grief, so many other painful emotions. That’s what the spiritual masters all mention… when we are less attached and walk the middle road about anything, really, suffering can decrease.
Painful stories and programming
The topic of money can press our deepest, most painful buttons. We all have lifetimes of programming around it. Shame, disgust, distaste, envy, jealousy, painful stories, guilt, blame, victimhood, joy, happy memories. Oh boy, the list goes on.
I mention some of my own experiences here, in case it resonates with you.
I’ve had to work hard on my own programming about money, growing up in a family where there wasn’t a lot. We had to save and squeeze the last drop out of everything, and felt very constricted and guilty about spending. I’ve done a lot of work on this topic to be able to charge decent fees for the work I hold dear. (And decent for me, might be paltry for one person, and extortionate for another.)
I’ve also had to make peace with: if I don’t charge for my work, I will need to get a 'j-o-b', and thus help no-one with it. On the other hand, my heart sometimes constricts and hurt when I think of the many people I’d love to help, who cannot afford to pay.
I also know that if my own finances are healthy, I’m able to offer help and support to others, in more ways. If I’m
battling to survive myself, it’s less likely that I’ll be able to give to others.
More questions than answers
How do we get to have healthy finances, while still being generous? Such a complex topic, right?
What are your beliefs about money? Do they help or hinder your progress with what you want to do with your precious life?
Asking that question even after all the processing I’ve done, I feel some resistance – even distaste - rise for me. Thoughts like:
“It isn’t all about money, you
know?!” or even “WHY does it always come down to money?” or what I’ve heard from many other heart-centred service providers “I HATE that money must enter the conversation, I wish I could do my work for free.”
The system
The truth is… life on earth requires it, for the way the systems are
set up now. For sure, there might be better and different ways to exchange something for other people’s goods and services… but right here, right now, we’re inside this system, until it can change. And I don’t see that happen for many years.
Until then, each of us must live in this system as best we can, for now.
Poverty
I’m just back from South Africa where there are vast amounts of poverty. There’s an enormous contrast between what I see here in the UK, and what I see every time I’m in South Africa.
The unemployment rate is huge in SA – something like 32% (and that includes only
people actively looking for employment, not those who have lost hope or are self-employed earning a pitiful living.) Youth unemployment is around 50%. Those are staggering figures and evidence of this hardship can be seen everywhere. It’s truly heart-breaking for me, and harder every time I go back.
I want to make a difference when I’m there… but the needs are so great, it doesn’t feel enough. I had
wonderful conversations with Lovemore from Zimbabwe on my beach walks and some of the ways I try to make a difference, is to recommend others and their work. It costs me
nothing to do that, only a few minutes.
Basic needs
The bottom line: We need money to meet our basic needs. And as I wrote in the small personal piece above, life after the pandemic seems to have got even harder for many – and that includes our income.
When our income is affected, our nervous systems feel it very keenly! Every stressful thought in us gets activated because ‘no money – no security, no food, death’.
My thoughts, prayers, compassion are with every single person who’s experiencing money hardship. I’ve been there too with loads of debt at one point, having to make a new start
after a divorce, and the sick feeling of ‘How will I pay all my bills?’.
I’ve been more fortunate than millions of others that I’ve always had a roof and a meal… and I know the awful stress of feeling completely unsafe about the future.
Opportunities to work with this
topic
And that is why I had to think long and hard about sharing the opportunities I have for you today. It could be a real blessing, and you could also find the subject or the offers distasteful or out of character for me. Not what you signed up for.
I have been sitting on the fence for 4 weeks. And
yesterday in thinking through all these layers, I received my clarity. I’ve come to the peaceful place that if my sharing is helpful for one person, it will have served a purpose. I’m just the channel here - may something helpful find you through this letter.
Thank you for indulging my musings. Money is a tough subject with so many angles and layers. And potentially a lot of room for
growth.
Three ways to work with the energy of money and your relationship with it:
One: Your own tapping
Write down your thoughts and feelings about money, including this article. And then use
tapping to discharge some or all of that. For me, it feels like a life-long practice. We get over one layer, and then another deeper one might show up. And so, we get to grow, drop unnecessary baggage, and experience more freedom. More freedom, more lightness, more delight and joy.
If you don’t know how to tap, follow one of the below videos, while you tune into your feelings about
money.
How to get relief from stress through silent EFT tapping
EFT Quick Tapping Tip: Silent Tapping
Two: EFT Workshop
If a workshop to declutter and process your thoughts, feelings and beliefs about money would be helpful, drop me an email. I’d likely price it at £25 for a 90-minute workshop. If there
are 10 responses, I’ll host it in February.
Three: An Experiment as part of a group
If an investment of $25 for a year-long immersion in working on your money-consciousness sounds useful, here is an opportunity that was shared with me.
I signed up, and can see how comprehensive yet playful it is. I found it hard to believe that this would be available for $25.
Joanna Hunter (coach from the UK) ran this experiment in 2021 – and several millionaires were created in that year (1 out of every 287 people who participated.)
She calls it ‘My Million Dollar Experiment' and over 72% of the people surveyed saw a massive positive change. That sounded promising to me. We
don't need to be a millionaire - but more freedom around money could be nice?
Like anything, a course or program lying on our computer will not actually change anything, lol. So it’s something you have to invest time in. There are beautiful affirmations, podcasts, exercises and it’s very organized, with weekly reminders of the plentiful available material.
A word on emotions: We are emotional beings, and we make emotional decisions. This offer could bring up all sorts of stuff - a bit of 'being sucked in', a bit of greed, seeing a way out, excitement, longing, distaste, envy, distrust...
That's normal! Please do your bit of tapping first, and then decide if this is right for
you.
It's only available until 31 January though - so please be aware there is a time limit.
If you’re intrigued, take a look here.
This is an affiliate link. You won’t pay anything more by using this link, and I will receive a small payment if you do choose to use it. The same opportunity exists for you at no
cost.
In closing:
I hope you use tapping this year! EFT is a tool I cannot be without, on any day. Over the coming year, I’ll share with you more ways in which it’s been extremely useful for me.
What spoke to you today? What’re your thoughts about money?
