I remember turning into the parking lot of the grocery store and seeing a city bus go by with a large advertisement that took up the whole side of the bus; We Are More Alike Than
Different with a larger-than-life photographer of a young adult with Down syndrome. I smiled, thinking of our son Dylan, who has Down syndrome.
The slogan, We Are More Alike Than Different aligned with my beliefs and what I had been communicating to teachers, our community, our family and more importantly to our son, Dylan. I wanted him to grow up knowing that he had more similarities than differences with others.
If someone pointed out at an IEP meeting that Dylan couldn’t do something, I was quick to add an example of what he could do.
When a child at the park laughed at Dylan and teased him, I would causally say, “You know, Dylan loves playing Nintendo games and I bet you do too.”
My mission became pointing out similarities and the abilities Dylan had. This became the foundation of our advocacy for him.
As many other parents will relate, there were also times when I would share how much I had learned from Dylan and was thankful for him being in our lives. But I didn’t connect those thoughts of gratitude to
Disability Pride.
We discussed different questions Dylan asked, how come his tongue was so big, or how come some kids laughed when he read aloud, or why he had an extra chromosome. We openly talked about Down syndrome and the myths too many people believed and the low expectations that came with low IQ scores.
But it was always in the realm of me telling my son, he could be anything he wanted (despite your Down syndrome). That was a mistake. I need to be telling him, that he can be anything he wants to be and one of his contributions, is his disability.
I would like to say when Dylan was very young that I realized that Disability Pride pertained to my son, but I didn’t. It made sense to me for deaf people to have pride in their culture, for physically disabled people to feel pride in their
disability. I didn’t understand how people with cognitive disabilities would embrace that attribute as something to be proud of.
Too much of my energy was spent wanting Dylan and everyone around him to know that he was more similar than different. I wound up discounting his disability and missed opportunities to nurture a sense of disability
pride in him.
I had to first change my mindset and realize I don’t need to devalue his Down syndrome by being stuck in the More Alike Than Different world. I value the chances we have to see Dylan grow and nurture his own disability pride.
What can you do today to either sprinkle the seeds of disability pride in your child or nurture the ones previously planted?
