Question: Why do you want to give
a bit more to others?
Many years ago I coined the term, “gelfish”.
It means: Generous out of Self
Read that again. Does that concept sound wrong to you?
If it does… let’s fix that.
I am a believer that we are motivated by varying degrees of self interest and that altruism, where we are doing something ONLY for another person, it’s a bit of a myth.
If nothing else, doing a kindness to a stranger makes me feel good about me! Boom. Reward and motivation.
Why is it important that I talk to you about this? Because you need to stop picking on yourself when you
spot your own self interest in your motivations OR for sometimes wanting something for yourself when you act.
These things are normal and natural and not selfish in anyway.
I further believe, whether we operate from the consciousness of it or not, that we’re all part of one, big whole ball of life. That means anything I do for you, I’m doing in part for me too.
I’m gelfish. Generous from self interest. I know that giving love to all of you, eventually comes back to me.
I can enjoy giving it to
you and enjoy how it blesses you
while ALSO appreciating…that it will come back to me!
That bit is not my
primary motive but I AM comfortable with it.
There are so many people out there who run around trying to do good for everyone and disassociate themselves from the return of any good to themselves. Mistake!
That breaks the cycle of giving and receiving. It’s actually incredibly selfish to break the cycle of giving and receiving by pretending that you only want and need to give!
If you are running around only giving and refusing to receive, you are, in essence, screwing over all the people that could & should be giving to YOU!
The great religious and metaphysical guidebook said "do unto others, as you would have done unto you". It’s a subtle teaching, because when you are doing things FOR others, you are going to eventually receive those same kinds of good things yourself.
So I think the book just didn’t finish the sentence!
Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you,
because you WILL receive the essence of whatever you are giving,
back to you, eventually.
(Original version is clearly less wordy!)
All this to say, I get excited to do the extra for people.
I love seeing their faces or imagining their surprise or comfort.
I also know, but what I do comes back to me, so I enjoy making positive deposits for my future withdrawal.
One of the coolest little extras you can do for people at work, is leave them a sticky note of written appreciation somewhere only they will find it.
Why? People usually keep little notes of praise. Random chocolate is a good one too.
It is part of the fun to go out of your way for a few minutes, imagining all of the different options you have to delight someone
and THEN exercising your power to pick one.
In the process of doing this you will be vibrating near the frequency of pure love. It’s the equivalent of having a cat laying on your chest purring as hard as it can. It’s very healing.
I can’t even write about this without smiling. I just gave some spontaneous coaching to my web girl, an Alpha I love.
It took a chunk of time and it was the perfect thing to do. I was left feeling cared for and grateful for my skills. Giving is life affirming!
work can you Do The Extra from joy this week?