It Will Be Easiest if You Do Your Love EXTRA 

for Someone You DON’T Love

What? Wait…Why? 

We have such a tangled history with those that we love. These are the people that we are most likely to get into messy situations with.

These are the people that we suppress our feelings and needs for. These are the people we sacrifice for, even when they don’t want us to. These are the people that we lose ourselves for and over function for and control. 

If you want to do your extra really easily… Do your Love extra 

for someone who is NOT in your very inner circle. 

My example of doing my extra for love, 

comes from Valentines week last month. 

If you remember, I was on a seven day silent retreat at a Jesuit Monastery. It was AMAZING! 

I was assigned a Spiritual Director, who is like your spiritual coach to help you connect with God and work on whatever your heart has brought to the retreat. 

I had been on retreat there two years ago and I absolutely loved both my room AND my spiritual director and was looking forward to having both again… cue dramatic music. 

So… my old Director’s schedule was full and I’d accidentally requested #7 (worst room) not #9 (best room). 😂

My face! I am positive I looked like a child 

who just dropped their only ice cream cone. 

I pulled it together but the priest felt so sorry for me that he immediately swapped my room (which led to discovery there was an even BETTER room than #7! Now I am #8Forever). 

He explained that my new director wasn’t a priest but a lay woman, whom he thought I’d enjoy. 

I told him God was probably up to something and I’d give it my best. 

Well of course she was PERFECT (and a beautiful Alpha in her 70s?). 

In our very first meeting, she listened to me and then challenged me to not spend my week asking for God to help me… BUT INSTEAD spend my time offering to be of help to God! 

I felt the truth of her suggestion and I agreed. 

So I asked. God, what would you like to do? 

Answer: Make surprise Valentine’s Day Cards for EVERYONE. 

And that is just the Extra we did!

I left the grounds, found a store and bought glue and scissors and construction paper and felt and crayons! And set to work. 

My retreat had six retreatants: 4 priests, me (I am ordained) 

and a RN lay minister plus our 3 Spiritual Directors. 

I made all nine of us Valentine’s Day cards by hand. 

And then I got the intuition to go find a rock for each person, 

on my morning walks outside.  Next, in meditation I received a word to write on each persons rock. 

And I also sought out a Bible verse or a thought for each person‘s card. 

Plus chocolate hearts and BUBBLE WANDS! 

Putting this all together literally took up half of my retreat, and gave me the deepest sense of purpose and joy! 

Now remember…we are on a silent retreat. So we can’t talk to each other. But on Valentine’s Day, I placed everyone’s gifts either in their office or at our lunch table. 

I got to watch the joy and surprise of grown men 

as they opened a pile of presents and toys and love! 

It was magical. 

THIS is why they teach you that it is in giving, that you receive. In giving to everyone this unexpected bit of joy, I got so much back! 

There was no obligation, it was done from joy for joy and even though I worked hard and spent many hours on my project, it was not a sacrifice, 

it was a gift. 

You can create this type of feeling for yourself. 

Please do it! You deserve this joy. 

Where will you Do The Extra for Love this week?

In Joy,