They Say Love Makes You Blind...
Nope. Love is incredibly clear seeing.
History assumes lovers do not SEE their beloveds faults and vulnerabilities because they kept loving them. It’s the opposite. They saw, felt honored by that trust and felt safer about their OWN FLAWS and so, kept loving.
Do You Want To Be Right or Happy?
When you need to be right or hear them admit you ARE right and fight for this, regardless of the damage it does to your relationship, it is because you FEAR BEING VULNERABLE.
Remember, I taught you, being happy often means you need to be willing to be WRONG? It also means you need willingness to be vulnerable. To tell your truth without an attempt to control the outcome. Don't try to make it "safe" or withhold if it's
If you cannot tell the truth to your beloved, it is because you do not trust them to stay/love you if you ask for what you need or show imperfect feelings.
I’ve taught this quote before. It’s a favorite.
“That which can be destroyed by the truth SHOULD BE”.
In the 30 seconds after you tell a deep truth you may feel sick, relieved or terrified. This has more to do with your anxiety that someone you love may leave you and you can’t stop (control) them, than what you said.
IMPORTANT: Not all ways of being vulnerable are equal. Some approaches make it more likely you’ll be heard and others less. In the end, if your truth destroys something, you should question how solid it actually was.
In real love, the sight of you weakened, lost and afraid (or angry, hurt and in despair) will not trigger rejection. You evoke protection, empathy and trust.
If you are deeply afraid to show your anger or naked hurt, consider that feedback on the overall health of your relationship.
Don't go extreme though. Zero vulnerability prevents love and constant vulnerability (neediness) kills love. Balance is needed.
Love requires Vulnerability.
Who do you let SEE you when you come undone?