How to Heal The Five Grudges
Restoration is the process of healing the Five Grudges, through UNDERSTANDING, so you can accept where you are (Good, Bad & Ugly) and welcome back what you’ve forsaken.
---> When you do this there are NO STEPS TO FORGIVENESS.
Remember, I taught you the Universe has processes that operate on autopilot. They are faster than an iPhone applying autocorrect!
Now know that you are seeking UNDERSTANDING. And once you’ve gotten it at a deep level, you not only CAN forgive, but forgiveness autopilot “kicks in.”
Only with understanding can you drop resentment, resistance, regret and rescue. (My 4 R’s of Doom). Only when you understand, can you love any of your players. Being able to love your family (who screwed you over), yourself (who screwed you over), the world (which screws people over) and that abandoned piece are CRITICAL to your true restoration.
1) Identify Your Players
2) Understand Each Player
3) Apologize to Your Shattered Piece
4) Make Her a Spot at Your Table
Identify Your Players - See Above.
Understand the Players:
You’ll know you’ve done a good job when it’s hard to keep holding the same grudge.
You have to be able to see WHY the players acted as they did and unintentionally hurt you. And do this for yourself too. See WHY you shattered & scattered you without judgment.
Finally, see why part of you now feels totally unsafe with the “rest” of you. (i.e. How would you feel if you were thrown out?)
Apologize to The Abandoned Part of You:
This is literal. Say it out loud. List and own out what you did. Do not explain or excuse it. Apologize. Give yourself the kind of apologies you like.
I actually named my bundle of traits, Evie, so I can stay more mindful of her and break the habit of disregarding her needs.
I apologized until I felt HER feel better, not me.
Make Her A Spot At Your Table:
This is affirmative action. Apology for a long standing abuse without reparations doesn’t heal the deepest wounds.
Give. Her. What. She. Needed. Back. Then. NOW.
Figure out what you can do right now to show her this apology is genuine and you are inviting her back and you will FIGHT for her if need be.
You are RESTORING your trust in you.
RESTORING your wholeness.
RESTORING peace in the world. (If everyone could do this, war would end).
RESTORING your Self-Love & Security.
Once you have done Restoration (where we work with our oldest things), we can begin Renovation, (to bring in the new), next week! You are almost there Angel :-)