[Self-Love] The Art of Self-Rescue: Who Shattered Me?

Published: Wed, 11/06/19

Photo of Tanya, Coach for Alpha Women Entrepreneurs

Welcome to The Art of Self-Rescue

Who shattered you? YOU did. Sorry that that hurts Pumpkin, but this month can be life changing you if let it. All these years you've spent rescuing EVERYBODY and their brother. How about...you...rescue...you.

You will discover Recognition, Reclamation, Restoration and Renovation as I teach you how to Self-Rescue. I'm soo excited!

The Art of Self-Rescue: I Shattered Me to Fit YOU

You Have Only a Fraction of What You Were Born With

I want you to get this important, first part. If you agree with my givens, the conclusions should make sense too:

People like people like themselves or who give them what they want.
From childhood, when adults saw THEMSELVES in you they praised you.
When adults saw you doing what HELPED them, they praised you.
When you were seen doing something DIFFERENT than expected (son of a factory worker wanting to paint, daughter of a socialite being a tomboy), at a minimum your praise was withdrawn (and yes, that's a punishment).

Conclusion: You learned some pieces of you will get more approval than others.

This continues and intensifies in your young adult and early relationship years, except it's about to get exponentially worse, as the most powerful oppressor of all steps into play: you.

You LEARNED that some parts of you are "better" than others. More marketable. More attractive. More desired and feared. Perceived as an advantage. And yes, you learned which bits of you that were a "liability."

Maybe it was your height? So you wore heels or more revealing clothes. Maybe it was your skin color or the amount of money your family had.

You learned to build the "best version of you" according to the standards, preferences and USES of the people around you, including family & teachers.

We all know that what you focus on grows...so where did you focus? On your "good" bits. For Alphas good bits are independence, intelligence, emotional strength, communication, problem solving, control and beauty.

Those are the 'currencies' Alphas prize because it is what we 'sell'.

The Rest of You Is Waiting For Rescue

What happened to the REST of you? Those bits, those pieces were systematically rejected, strangled, neglected, broken off and buried.

Dearest, you took the whole of you, like a beautiful mirror and you shattered it to pick out the "imperfections" and leave more of the "good stuff."

You. Shattered. You.

Some of you will be thinking, I did NOT conform to other's explicit demands of me! No? Neither did I. What DID I do? I conformed to the defense/security/isolation/do-it-all-myself demands that I PUT ON ME in reaction to them.

Same thing.

I shattered me. You shattered you.

Why is this GREAT news? Ask anyone who has coached with me. I always tell them, if YOU didn't do it, YOU cannot fix it. You now need no one else's permission or direct cooperation to get yourself to the Restoration & Renovation phases.

Now you can see part of the reason your life has such a strong rescuer theme in it. You have been in need of a rescue for almost ever and no one is coming! Many don't WANT you to stop being a lop-sided self, because you are too useful to them that way. Those that did come to help you, couldn't do the heavy lifting you needed. That is as it should be, because real rescue is always supposed to be Self-Rescue.

Welcome to The Art of Self-Rescue

You now know WHY you need a rescue: because you shattered you for safety, for approval and for success. Your continued focus on why Piece A of you is better than Piece B, leaves many beautiful pieces of you rejected, lost and abandoned. You are fragmented and that feeling that you can't find peace comes from you being in too many pieces.

It is critical that you take full responsibility for your own shattering. Otherwise you are a victim and victims stay stuck until some mythical time when they are rescued. You are NOT a victim. You broke you and it was impossible for you to do anything else in a world that teaches you to shatter from infancy.

Recognize your role so we may begin your RECLAMATION next week...

In Joy,

P.S. I selected out the parts of me that are "Alpha" and I leaned into them and threw away from the rest. That created a beautiful, unstoppable strong woman who spent years feeling unsupported, unloved and unhappy.

I am only now doing Restoration & Renovation. Come on the journey with me...My purpose is to remove blocks to your purpose and help you build a true foundation that will bring you the perfect square of happiness in Health, Wealth, Love and Mission. That square requires ALL of us.

Tanya Stewart is "The Alpha Woman Coach" and began coaching strong women as a Divorce lawyer in her own high conflict law firm 20 years ago. She understands how Alpha women are wired and using her Master’s level Metaphysics background and Advanced Clinical Certification in Hypnotherapy, she brings rapid change to people she works with.

She is a speaker, published author and Mensa member whose coaching is recommended by the World-Famous Motivator, Les Brown, Best-Selling Love Coach Greg Baer and International Change Expert, Dr. Eldon Taylor. She can teach you to separate struggle from success.

ALL My videos are always on my Vimeo channel HERE

Find Even More on the Resources page of the website: www.FearlessFocusCoaching.com/Resources