July/August 2022:

Published: Wed, 07/06/22

The Connection!

July/August 2022

Tony Davis Psychotherapy

Couples Therapy & EMDR

OFFICE HOURS

OFFICE CLOSURES:

August 16-24: Summer Break

Office hours for the weeks before and after closed dates may be adjusted to accommodate. Please note regular hours.

HOURS FOR IN-OFFICE OR TELEHEALTH SESSIONS: (subject to change week-to-week):

Mondays: NOT IN THE OFFICE

Tuesdays: 10am-9pm

Thursdays: 9am-9pm

Fridays: NOT IN THE OFFICE

Saturdays: 9am-4pm

Sundays and Major Holidays: NOT IN THE OFFICE

I offer complimentary 50 minute consultations in office or via video. Please contact me for availability.

Note that if you are a current client and cannot find a time that works for you in my availability calendar, you can contact me directly.

CLIENT CORNER

COVID GUIDELINES FOR IN-PERSON SESSIONS:

Update: Masks no longer required in session!

I have been fully vaccinated with the Moderna vaccine and booster shot. Masks are no longer required in-office if you are fully vaccinated and boosted. Please do not attend sessions if you have any symptoms of illness. If you have not been fully vaccinated against COVID-19, please contact me directly regarding in-office sessions.

I will continue to offer both in-person and telehealth sessions for individuals and couples. Please keep in mind that reimbursement for telehealth services is subject to change depending on applicable laws and insurance regulations. My practice will continue to follow best practices to reduce the risk of spreading the coronavirus. I remain committed to following state and federal guidelines and to adhering to prevailing professional healthcare standards to limit the transmission of COVID-19 in my office. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. We will get through this together by staying safe and on top of new developments and guidelines.

Now let's take a look at the feature article!

Feature Article:

Putting Relationship Needs First

As a couples therapist, I tend to think a lot about why relationships have problems. Why do we struggle so with the one person we love the most? It doesn't help that the very way we, as a culture, participate in relationships changes over time. Relationships do not serve the exact same purpose that they served in 1950. Or 1960 or 1980. And yet people often go into relationship as if nothing has changed.

What is the outcome of this? From what I have observed, relationships suffer. And when relationships suffer, so do the individuals who are in the relationships.

There must be a way out of this!

Fortunately, there is, though it can be difficult to act on. Before we get into the way out, let's first look at what has changed, and why these changes are not necessarily bad news.

Click HERE to continue reading the article.

Additional Resources:

(My current Resource Sheet is also attached to this newsletter for your use.)

ESTHER PEREL:

Eroticism in Hard Times

"From the pandemic to climate crisis to crimes against humanity, severe burnout, and more, we are living through collective trauma. Our impulse may be to shut down, numb ourselves with substances, disconnect, sleep forever, wallow in the 24 hour news cycle, or stuff every free moment with social media to avoid difficult thoughts and feelings. But today, I invite you to try something different. I want to you embrace your Erotic self. You may think that talking about Eroticism at a time like this is hubris. But I think it is essential." -Ester Perel

Click HERE to read the article.

BOOK RECOMMENDATION: MORE THAN WORDS

John Howard, LMFT

I first heard John Howard speak on the podcast Therapist Uncensored (click for episode link), and was impressed by how he talked about working with couples, so I bought his book!

More Than Words shows you how to deepen love and connection in any relationship based on the latest cutting-edge research in interpersonal neurobiology, trauma-informed healing, attachment theory, and many more scientific fields. This “brilliant guide” (Diane Poole-Heller, PhD, author of The Power of Attachment) explains why verbal communication may not elicit the connection you seek and offers ways to practice and form new habits that can nurture love, care, safety, comfort, and passion in relationships.

Mindful of all the needs of the modern individual, More Than Words is inclusive of LGBTQ+, polyamorous, and other nontraditional committed relationships and ultimately looks to elevate the way we strengthen the most important bonds in our lives.

Purchase More than Words, and you'll receive a free Bonus Chapter on Attachment, a Myth-Busting Guide, and a Connection Cheat-Sheet!

Click HERE to check out the book.

MARTHA KAUPPI:

Cultivating Desire for Your Partner

This article by Martha tells us, simply, that if you are concerned about feeling less desire for your partner, it helps to shift the focus toward yourself, making sure that your body is open to feeling alive in the world, not just in the bedroom! Desire for another is often an extension of how we feel about ourselves--the desire is our invitation to the other to join us in celebrating life and eroticism. Rather than worrying about whether or not you feel attracted to your partner after a number of years, look at your relationship to your own desirability, your own willingness to be curious about yourself.

Click HERE for the article.

EVEN MORE...!

COURSERA:

The Science of Well-Being

In this FREE course you will engage in a series of challenges designed to increase your own happiness and build more productive habits. As preparation for these tasks, Professor Laurie Santos reveals misconceptions about happiness, annoying features of the mind that lead us to think the way we do, and the research that can help us change. You will ultimately be prepared to successfully incorporate a specific wellness activity into your life.

Click HERE for more information and to enroll in the course.

CORAL App:

Love Making Love

Coral is a new app that offers to help users in three key areas:

Deeper connections: Achieve greater intimacy with your partner and learn how to live in the moment.
Enhanced pleasure: Discover new frontiers of enjoyment and reap the many benefits of a healthy sex life.
Unshakable confidence: Feel great in your body, understand what you want and learn how to ask for it.

I have checked out the app and find it to be thorough in its approach to education and support, and am thrilled to be able to offer my readers 30% off an annual subscription! Use the link below to access the discount offer. This will work for any new users.

https://www.trycoral.app/new-coralers

If you have any difficulty accessing please email me to let me know and I will contact them.

JOHN HOWARD WORKSHOPS:

Ready Set Love®:

Ever wonder where the manual is for a great relationship?
The class on how to have a rockstar partnership? Isn’t it odd that we never get a class on how to have an incredibly connected relationship, yet we’re somehow expected to do it well?

Ready Set Love® will finally give you and your partner the skills and support you need to have an awesome, fun, and connected relationship for the long-term!

The program consists of 12 videos, one on each dimension of healthy relationship. You receive one a week and each takes about 20-30 minutes to watch, practice the exercises and complete! It's the best solution for any busy couple to have time to work on and improve your relationship. Learn together and grow together with John Howard's expert support!

Click HERE for details and dates!

New Recommendation!

MARI MU:

The Secret Sauna L.A./Craniosacral Therapy

Craniosacral therapy is a light hands-on modality that supports the recalibration and restoration of the nervous system. It is a meditative healing practice in which the practitioner places their hands gently on the client’s body, and with a quiet sensing/feeling/listening touch, connects with the most subtle rhythms within. Through deep presence, stillness and connection, the body systems are supported in releasing long-held tension patterns, making way for more ease and opening within your being. This is a session for deepening your relationship with your body and cultivating a more expanded inner awareness.

Click HERE for more information and to book a session with Mari!

PACT INSTITUTE COUPLES WORKSHOPS:

Wired for Love Couples Retreats:
Creating an Owner’s Manual for a Secure-Functioning Relationship

World renowned couple therapist Dr. Stan Tatkin and Dr. Tracey Tatkin are now offering their wildly popular Wired for Love couples retreat online.

Over the course of eight live, online sessions, you’ll learn to:

Establish a nurturing two-person system called the couple bubble
Understand how your brain can help you and hurt you in a relationship
Practice ways to soothe yourself and each other
Know your attachment style – how your brain relates to other people
Fight well with your partner and repair hurt quickly
Use gratitude and sex to build a stronger relationship

Don’t expect a talking head or a lecture. Each interactive session is jam-packed with demonstrations, exercises, and opportunities to practice powerful new tools to connect with your partner more deeply.

Click HERE for details and dates!

GOTTMAN INSTITUTE COUPLES WORKSHOPS:

Below are a sampling of available Gottman Institute Online Workshops that can be a great adjunct resource for your relationship work:

Loving Out Loud--ON SALE!

Loving out Loud! Share, show, and speak your love! Take your relationship off of auto-pilot and shift into loving out loud!
In this all-new series of exercises, activities, and videos, Drs. John and Julie Gottman can show you how to love your partner even better.
Upgrade your love life with this research-based series of conversations, skills, and practices designed to enhance the fondness and admiration in your relationship.

Click here for more info and to purchase.

Enriching Your Sex Life--ON SALE!

Whether you are looking for ways to increase satisfaction or completely reset your sex life, the Gottmans are here to share the secrets to amazing sex with you—and they may not be what you’d expect.
Learn how to foster intimacy and safety in your relationship and how doing so can lead to amazing sex in the new Gottman Relationship Coach, "Enriching Your Sex Life". In this never-before-seen series of videos and conversation-starting exercises, Drs. John and Julie Gottman will guide you and your partner through opening up communication around sex, learning your partner’s preferences, exploring sensuality, and building sexual safety in your relationship.

Click here for more info and to purchase.

All About Intimacy Bundle--ON SALE!

Rediscover intimacy in your relationship with the "All About Intimacy" bundle, containing three of our bestselling Coach products: "Enriching Your Sex Life", "Feeling Seen and Heard", and "Loving Out Loud".
Learn how to grow closer to your partner and strengthen your physical connection, discover new ways to cherish and make time for each other, and acquire tools to enhance the fondness and admiration in your relationship.

Click here for more info and to purchase.

VIDEO

The Three Requirements of a Good Relationship

In this newsletter I talk about putting the relationship needs first. I want to clarify that this does not mean that a relationship should meet ALL one's needs! It just means that whatever needs we are fulfilling, we don't throw the relationship needs under the bus in the process. This short video gives us an example of three needs one can look to a relationship for.

You can view the video by clicking below...

The Three Requirements of a Good Relationship

About Tony Davis Psychotherapy

I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MFC81838) and AACAST certified Couples and Sex Therapist and fully-trained EMDR therapist who works with couples and individuals on relationship issues including communication, conflict, sex, trust, and "affair-repair ". Learn how the stories you have of yourself and others are interfering with having the life and relationships you prefer.

CALL 323 963-3183 to book a complimentary consultation, or email me at [email protected].

Go to CouplesTherapistLA.com for more details.

If you like the feature article in this newsletter and want to read other articles that were previously published, please visit my Blog HERE. If this newsletter was forwarded to you and you would like to subscribe yourself, please go HERE.

Online Therapy Resources for Clients

I offer in-office, video, and phone sessions. Video or phone sessions are available if one of the following apply:

physical disability that keeps you homebound or makes it difficult to travel
current illness or injury
concern for privacy
self-quarantine or self-isolation due to an ongoing public health crisis
scheduling issues with my in-office availability

If you are not familiar or comfortable with video sessions, no worries! Here are some resources for you to check out so you have the best experience, and of course I am available for any questions or concerns! Click on any of the links below:

Internet Speed Test (best to have a download speed of at least 10 mbps)

How To Optimize Your Internet Connection for Video Sessions

Telehealth FAQs for Clients

Couples Counseling with Tony Davis, LMFT

See you in September!