November/December 2022: Reboot Your Relationship

Published: Thu, 11/10/22

The Connection!

November/December 2022

Tony Davis Psychotherapy

Couples Therapy & EMDR

Happy Holidays!

OFFICE HOURS

HOLIDAY OFFICE CLOSURES:

November 20-28: Thanksgiving Holiday

December 18-27, and December 30-January 6: Winter Holidays

(I will offer sessions in-person and online on December 28th and 29th)

HOURS FOR IN-OFFICE OR TELEHEALTH SESSIONS: (subject to change week-to-week):

Mondays: NOT IN THE OFFICE

Tuesdays: 10am-9pm

Thursdays: 9am-9pm

Fridays: NOT IN THE OFFICE

Saturdays: 9am-4pm

Sundays and Major Holidays: NOT IN THE OFFICE

I offer complimentary 50 minute consultations in office or via video. Please contact me for availability.

Note that if you are a current client and cannot find a time that works for you in my availability calendar, you can contact me directly.

CLIENT CORNER

COVID GUIDELINES FOR IN-PERSON SESSIONS:

Update: Masks no longer required in session!

I have been fully vaccinated with the Moderna vaccine and 2 booster shots. Masks are no longer required in-office. Please do not attend sessions if you have any symptoms of illness. If you have not been fully vaccinated against COVID-19, please contact me directly regarding in-office sessions. Please note that if you prefer to wear a mask, you are more than welcome to, and if you prefer that I wear one I will do so.

I will continue to offer both in-person and telehealth sessions for individuals and couples. Please keep in mind that reimbursement for telehealth services is subject to change depending on applicable laws and insurance regulations. My practice will continue to follow best practices to reduce the risk of spreading the coronavirus. I remain committed to following state and federal guidelines and to adhering to prevailing professional healthcare standards to limit the transmission of COVID-19 in my office. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. We will get through this together by staying safe and on top of new developments and guidelines.

Now let's take a look at the feature article!

Feature Article:

This Holiday Season, Reboot Your Relationship (Here's How)

The Fall and Winter holidays mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. For some, the celebrations overtake the entire latter part of the year, while for others the seasons are little more than a nuisance to avoid. Then there those who fall everywhere in between! Whichever category you identify with, these are times of the year when all the holiday noise can make it easier to nudge aside things that are important to us the rest of the year: healthy eating habits, exercise, spending budgets, alcohol consumption limits, work obligations.

Mind you, these things are often set aside to make room for wonderful alternatives: time with friends and family, delicious meals, seasonal activities, and shopping for loved ones. But all this diverted focus can take a toll not only on our health and finances, but also on our relationships--not intentionally, of course--but as a side effect of having our limited attention and energy given elsewhere.

While I am not going to address health or finances in this article, I do want to explore how there does not have to be a toll on your relationship--as long as you agree to attend to a few things that give you a better chance of staying connected and coming out of the season stronger and closer as a couple. Let's take a look at what these are.

Click HERE to continue reading the article.

Additional Resources:

(My current Resource Sheet is also attached to this newsletter for your use.)

FROM THE GOTTMAN BLOG:

The following articles address ways to reboot romance, kindness, affection, and connection, which is just what I am talking about this month, so I wanted to be sure to include them in this newsletter.

Understanding Must Precede Advice

by Kyle Benson

"Learn how to use conflict as an opportunity to understand and get to know each other better is a vital part of attunement." This is one of the MAIN RULES that I use to guide my work with couples. Most want to come in and have me "fix the problem", but I trust couples to fix their own problems, after I help them to better understand the problem! Trying to solve problems before reaching a deeper understanding of how it is upsetting each other is like a doctor giving you a diagnosis before he has fully assessed the issue! Ignore this rule at your own peril!

Click HERE to find out more about Understanding before Advice.

16 Ways to Fall in Love All Over Again

by Casey Caston

This article is a perfect companion to the feature article, offering couples simple tips on how to reboot the spark in your marriage or relationship. The good news is that these tips are not only easy to implement, they also feel good doing them.

"These tips will help reignite the spark in your marriage."

Click HERE to read the article.

Share Fondness and Admiration

by Zach Brittle

Contempt is a hard thing to come back from, but one of the best ways out of it is to rebuild the connection with fondness and admiration. When contempt shows up between you, the trust is lost--it is essential to get it back in order to rescue the marriage.

"Sharing fondness and admiration is the antidote to contempt."

Click HERE to read the article.

3 Daily Rituals That Stop Spouses from Taking Each Other for Granted

by Verily Magazine

Next week is too late to start working on recovering from disconnection, and talking about change is not the same as acting on change. Here are three things you can do daily, right away, that will keep you feeling appreciation for your partner.

"Daily rituals keep the sense of connection strong in marriage and assure that romance, affection, and appreciation are a part of your married life every day."

Click HERE to read the article.

The Digital Age: The First Duty of Love is to Listen

by Ellie Lisitsa

"Daily rituals keep the sense of connection strong in marriage and assure that romance, affection, and appreciation are a part of your married life every day."

Click HERE to read the article.

ADDITIONAL RELATED ARTICLES AND RESOURCES:

Thich Nhat Hanh on the Art of Deep Listening and the 3 Buddhist Steps to Repairing a Relationship

Why Infidelity Doesn’t Have to Be ‘the Ultimate Betrayal’

By Maria Popova

"The intention of deep listening and loving speech is to restore communication, because once communication is restored, everything is possible."

Click HERE for the article.

Why Self-Regulation Is the Most Important Thing in the World

By Andrea L. Bell

I am not even able to start doing couples therapy until I can be assured that the couple is able to stay within their "Window of Tolerance", meaning they keep both their left AND right brains online during conflict. Without this, it is nearly impossible to help them connect and gain mutual understanding.

Click HERE for the article.

Small Things Often Podcast
The Gottman Institute

Give your relationships a boost in 5 minutes or less with the Small Things Often Podcast from The Gottman Institute. They provide simple, proven, quick tips to help you deepen and enhance your relationships!

Click HERE to access the podcast on Apple Podcasts.

EVEN MORE...!

COURSERA:

The Science of Well-Being

In this FREE course you will engage in a series of challenges designed to increase your own happiness and build more productive habits. As preparation for these tasks, Professor Laurie Santos reveals misconceptions about happiness, annoying features of the mind that lead us to think the way we do, and the research that can help us change. You will ultimately be prepared to successfully incorporate a specific wellness activity into your life.

Click HERE for more information and to enroll in the course.

CORAL App:

Love Making Love

Coral is a new app that offers to help users in three key areas:

Deeper connections: Achieve greater intimacy with your partner and learn how to live in the moment.
Enhanced pleasure: Discover new frontiers of enjoyment and reap the many benefits of a healthy sex life.
Unshakable confidence: Feel great in your body, understand what you want and learn how to ask for it.

I have checked out the app and find it to be thorough in its approach to education and support, and am thrilled to be able to offer my readers 30% off an annual subscription! Use the link below to access the discount offer. This will work for any new users.

https://www.trycoral.app/new-coralers

If you have any difficulty accessing please email me to let me know and I will contact them.

JOHN HOWARD WORKSHOPS:

Ready Set Love®:

Ever wonder where the manual is for a great relationship?
The class on how to have a rockstar partnership? Isn’t it odd that we never get a class on how to have an incredibly connected relationship, yet we’re somehow expected to do it well?

Ready Set Love® will finally give you and your partner the skills and support you need to have an awesome, fun, and connected relationship for the long-term!

The program consists of 12 videos, one on each dimension of healthy relationship. You receive one a week and each takes about 20-30 minutes to watch, practice the exercises and complete! It's the best solution for any busy couple to have time to work on and improve your relationship. Learn together and grow together with John Howard's expert support!

Click HERE for details and dates!

PACT INSTITUTE COUPLES WORKSHOPS:

Wired for Love Couples Retreats:
Creating an Owner’s Manual for a Secure-Functioning Relationship

World renowned couple therapist Dr. Stan Tatkin and Dr. Tracey Tatkin are now offering their wildly popular Wired for Love couples retreat online.

Over the course of eight live, online sessions, you’ll learn to:

Establish a nurturing two-person system called the couple bubble
Understand how your brain can help you and hurt you in a relationship
Practice ways to soothe yourself and each other
Know your attachment style – how your brain relates to other people
Fight well with your partner and repair hurt quickly
Use gratitude and sex to build a stronger relationship

Don’t expect a talking head or a lecture. Each interactive session is jam-packed with demonstrations, exercises, and opportunities to practice powerful new tools to connect with your partner more deeply.

Click HERE for details and dates!

GOTTMAN INSTITUTE COUPLES WORKSHOPS:

Check out all of the wonderful and helpful Gottman Institute Online Workshops that can be a great adjunct resource for your relationship work--many are on sale now!

Click HERE for more info and to purchase.

VIDEO

Ways to Nurture Your Relationship During The Holidays

Check out what Linda and Charlie Bloom, relationship experts for nearly 50 years, have to say about nurturing your relationship during the holidays. There are a lot of distractions and obligations that can pull our attention, time, and energy between November and December, and our partner is often left behind. Carving out small moments of connection and affection can go a long way to keeping you part of a team together.

You can view the video by clicking below...

Ways to Nurture Your Relationship During The Holidays

About Tony Davis Psychotherapy

I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (MFC81838) and AACAST certified Couples and Sex Therapist and fully-trained EMDR therapist who works with couples and individuals on relationship issues including communication, conflict, sex, trust, and "affair-repair ". Learn how the stories you have of yourself and others are interfering with having the life and relationships you prefer.

CALL 323 963-3183 to book a complimentary consultation, or email me at [email protected].

Go to CouplesTherapistLA.com for more details.

If you like the feature article in this newsletter and want to read other articles that were previously published, please visit my Blog HERE. If this newsletter was forwarded to you and you would like to subscribe yourself, please go HERE.

Online Therapy Resources for Clients

I offer in-office, video, and phone sessions. Video or phone sessions are available if one of the following apply:

physical disability that keeps you homebound or makes it difficult to travel
current illness or injury
concern for privacy
self-quarantine or self-isolation due to an ongoing public health crisis
scheduling issues with my in-office availability

If you are not familiar or comfortable with video sessions, no worries! Here are some resources for you to check out so you have the best experience, and of course I am available for any questions or concerns! Click on any of the links below:

Internet Speed Test (best to have a download speed of at least 10 mbps)

How To Optimize Your Internet Connection for Video Sessions

Telehealth FAQs for Clients

Couples Counseling with Tony Davis, LMFT

See you in 2023 with my "Best Of" Compilation!

7906 Santa Monica Blvd.
Suite 217
West Hollywood CA 90046
USA

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