Stagnation or Transformation

The Choice is YOURS

How do you overcome disappointment—not only as a writer but as a person?

In 2015, I changed careers from pastor to publisher. I felt pretty good about the transition because I would be playing second fiddle to a very accomplished person in the publishing industry.

Two years before, he and I formed a publishing company called The Michael Thomas Group. The company actually created the template for what Illumify is today. Incidentally, at that time, we hired a woman named Jen Clark to do some work for us—today she's our Operations Director (way back in 2013!).

But during that period, my business partner kept asking me, “When are you going to resign from your church so we can both focus on publishing full-time?”

So Memorial Day weekend, 2015, I made the jump into the abyss.

Two weeks later, we ran a series of radio informercials across the country about our services. Probably sixty to eighty markets. We described our innovative approach to publishing and why we were uniquely qualified to do what we do.

The weekend of our promotion, I was on pins and needles. My immediate income depended on the success of our promotion.

And you know what happened? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Crickets.

Then my greatest fear became reality: my friend, mentor, publishing whiz business partner jumped ship.

Two weeks after changing careers at age 50, I had no source of income.

Have you ever experienced a gut punch like that?

Perhaps you shared your manuscript for the first time with a handful of family members and close friends, and their unintentional criticism felt like daggers to your confidence.

Or maybe you pitched your manuscript to multiple agents and none of them ever responded (happens all the time).

Or maybe you published a book that generated zero sales.

Again, how do you respond to disappointment like that?

I mean, how do you pick yourself off the floor and keep going?

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What's Your Internal Dialogue Telling You?

That summer of 2015, I wanted to give up on life. Quite honestly, I hoped I would die.

My internal dialogue told me, You just screwed up your life! You’re nothing but a failure and your life is over.

I’m not kidding you.

The internal dialogue that runs on repeat in your head shapes how you see yourself and how you live your life.

I now realize that I needed to do some internal work. Change some priorities. Rid myself of some old mindsets.

In other words, I needed to grow.

When pain, disappointment, and hardship strike, we can sit in the mess and feel sorry for ourselves or we can use it as fuel to propel us forward. 

Read that again. 

Disappointment can be the catalyst for dramatic growth. The process for every disappointment in your life potentially looks like this:

Disappointment ➡️ Change ➡️ Growth

Pain, disappointment, and hardship are inevitable. It’s been that way for thousands of years and no one can avoid it. But not everyone changes and grows as a result of this catalyst.

When facing pain, disappointment, and hardship, we so often feel hopelessly out of control.

But can I let you in on a secret? You do have control—not necessarily over outcomes, but over yourself. Your thoughts. Your mindsets. Your responses.

4 Keys to Growing and Changing

Here’s how what I learned in 2015 as a result of my disappointment and hardship. If some don’t apply, that’s fine. And I’m sure other insights are out there that I’m not covering. But here it goes:

Key #1. Keep going.

One thing you CANNOT do is give up.

Believe it or not, accepting failure is the easy way out. Not finishing your manuscript requires no effort at all. Letting your writing goals fall to the wayside is easy peasy. 

But writing and publishing a book? That’s hard. That’s why most people don’t do it. 

But it's all a choice.

Key #2. Take responsibility for yourself.

Here’s something else you CANNOT do if you want to transform your disappointment into growth: blame everyone else.

Read that again.

Blame is the enemy of growth. There’s another word for blame: victimization.

If you’re saying to yourself, “That editor just doesn’t get my manuscript,” you’re playing the victim.

If you’re disappointed by your negative book reviews on Amazon, stop feeling sorry for yourself and write a better book!

If a publishing professional suggests you make some changes, don’t be offended. Heed their advice. 

TAKE. RESPONSIBILITY.

A month after our marketing disaster, my “former” business partner asked me if I wanted to join a 2016 presidential campaign and ghostwrite a book for the candidate’s father.

I knew the writing gig would cover the bills for a few months, but I also determined that it might open up other possibilities for future income.

And it did.

For years, I envisioned myself playing the #2 man to my #1 business partner. All the while, my wife was telling me, “You need to start your own thing and stop relying on this person.”

I needed to take responsibility for myself.

By taking responsibility for my future, I positioned myself to grow.

Fast forward, the publisher liked my ghostwriting work and hired me to run their self-publishing division. Which leads to my next point…

Key #3. Be willing to do something new.

The problem with your manuscript might be that you need to reorganize the outline or story arc.

Or you’re not writing to your strength and you need to try writing into a different genre.

Maybe you even need to start over on your manuscript.

As I was transitioning into my new position, I realized we would need copyeditors for the manuscripts that came in. So I convinced the publishing company to let my side company, Illumify Literary Services, be the contractor for all the copyediting.

At that point, Illumify Literary Services was an idea. It didn’t even exist.

And mind you, I’m the world’s worst copyeditor. The only copyediting job I ever did, I was fired halfway through. But I did have a friend with some traditional copyediting experience, so I ran with it.

Eventually, my boss, who formerly worked as a copyeditor for a HarperCollins imprint, asked if he could do some contract copyediting for us.

He’s now Illumify’s Editorial Director—but I’m getting ahead of myself.

My side hustle started going so well, I decided to dip my toes into publishing books. Granted, I didn’t know much about the production end, but I was in the mood to try something new.

I called my former business partner. I think he felt a little guilty about abandoning me, and I wanted to take full advantage of his guilt.

“Let’s meet in Ft. Lauderdale for a publishing retreat,” I told him. “Then you can show me what you do.”

He agreed, and he taught me the tricks of the trade. To this day, we share the same book cover designer.

But transitioning from pastor to business owner wasn’t easy. That’s why you need to…

Key #4. Surround yourself with people who know more than you.

Years ago, I decided I didn’t need to be the smartest person in the room. I preferred to surround myself with people smarter than me.

If I didn't do this, I knew I wouldn't grow. 

The first year after switching my business from a copyediting company to a publishing company, I paid $10,000 to consultants who shared their knowledge and expertise with me.

Never underestimate the power of an effective consultant.

There’s no shame to hire a book coach who will help you hone your craft.

You always, always, always need an experienced copyeditor to refine your manuscript.

And there’s no shame in hiring a publisher to guide you through the publishing process so you can release a transcendent book.

Our team of professionals, together, have sold millions and millions of books.

Illumify was conceived in the midst of disappointment, and while I don’t want to return to the early years, I’m so grateful that the process brought us to this moment.

Don’t let your disappointments as a writer stop you or define you. Even if you haven’t looked at your manuscript for a year or two, it’s never too late.

Click here to set up a strategy session with me—and move from disappointment to the exhilaration of releasing your transcendent book. 

Let’s bring your book to life!