Questions, Thanks and Vulnerability❓👍😰

Published: Fri, 06/24/22

Hello again , I hope all is well with you this fine day. Here's another coaching approach that you may find helpful.

Coaches love questions, and when we ask the right ones at the right time, it can be incredibly powerful. One of my best ones was, ' And what happened just before you didn't do what you meant to do?' This produced a real insight.

That's about the coach asking the client - and today here is another way to use questions, where the client asks themselves! Let's have a look.

Question Bursts

This approach was devised by Hal Gregerson and it's really good for getting us unstuck. It can bring up some uncomfortable feelings, but stick with it - the discomfort is actually creative.

Briefly, you pick a challenge that really matters to you and write it down. Then write down a couple of words that describe how you feel about it. Now the juicy bit - with a timer running for 90 seconds you write down as many questions about the challenge that you can think of.

You can see the rest of the process in the attachment, and if you want to try it out with me, instead of on your own, you can book one of my free 30 min calls to do so.

Here's an example of how it has been used; someone I know (who gives permission to share) was stuck in their business. Why were they not getting as many clients as they thought they wanted? One of the questions they generated was, Is it OK to earn money from people's problems? Coaching around that helped them to be comfortable in charging the right amount for their services and made a big difference.

Have a go and let me know how you got on!

Thank you letters

When I was a child, I had to write letters of thanks to all those nice aunts and grannies that sent me presents, and it sometimes felt like a bit of a chore.

Yet this piece of research suggests that not only is this expression of gratitude and appreciation is good for us, as I've often said before, but now also we can see that it is more appreciated by the recipient than we might expect. Often we don't bother, thinking, they won't really care, and anyway it feels a bit awkward.

It seems this simple act of showing thanks and appreciation can improve our social relationships and the well-being of both ourselves and the recipient. And in this research, the letters were sent by email, which may be easier than getting out pen and paper.

So, who could you send a short email message to, expressing how they have touched your life in a meaningful way?

Daring to be vulnerable

Today's book recommendation might feel a bit contradictory, yet most things that are true are indeed paradoxical.

When you think of the word 'vulnerable', does it feel like weakness, something you'd do best to avoid if you can? Dr Brene Brown's book 'Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead' reports on her social research over many years, concluding this is not the case, and that to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and reveal our true selves actually gives us more chance of meaningful experiences and relationships.

The title Daring Greatly comes from President Roosevelt, who used the phrase in his exhortation to live 'valiantly', not to hide away from life. You can read the full quote at the link, and I hope you will enjoy what Brene Brown has made of it.

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Thanks for your time, - have a good weekend, keep safe, and I'll be in touch again in a couple of weeks,

All best wishes,

Barbara

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