Hello , it's been a long time since I was able to be in touch with you regularly, and I hardly know how to begin to describe our lives here over the last couple of years. The short story is that my husband of nearly 45 years became seriously ill and I looked after him mostly at home, with the help of some wonderful hospice staff, until the end, in May this year. So of course, I did pretty much nothing else.
The long story would take the rest of my life to describe. I will leave it to your imagination. However, he did say to me, you will go on, you will do good things, you will help people, and I'm just at the point of beginning to pick up the pieces and to do just that. So here I am, just gently getting in touch again. I plan to do so once a month to start with, and then eventually twice a month as before, with reliable information and tips, based on the latest neuroscience, to support you to do what matters in your life and work, in the best way for you. (One more important point, especially if you are having a package of sessions - for the first three months of next year I will be on New Zealand time! So if you want to book with me, the overlap will be mornings and early evening. My calendar will show
availability.)
Here's a word I bet you haven't come across, and nor have I, because I recently made it up - not that it will help you in Scrabble! It's one of those lovely
acronyms that helps you remember important things, based on an idea by Rick Hanson, a prominent US
neuroscientist. It goes like this, - C for Cold
- H for Hungry
- A for Angry
- L for Lonely
- T for Tired
- S for Sad
and it's a way to examine your experience, to get a grip on it and see where it's coming from and if there's something simple you can do to improve the way you feel. I
notice that if I get cold - all too easily done in a British winter! - I begin to feel miserable and even a bit ill, and CHALTS prompts me to do something sensible about it. I've found it really helpful, and it reminds me that however we feel, it is a temporary experience and will eventually change all on its own. But we can give it a helping hand!
It's related to the idea of 'emotional granularity', which is a posh term for being able to label our feelings in greater detail. We can do better than Mad, Sad or Meh, and this all helps to manage our
emotions.
There's a lovely app called How We Feel which goes into this in more detail, where we can track our feelings and even discover things that set us off that previously we were barely conscious of. Why not give it a try and let
me know how you get on! Maybe you can make up your own acronym for yourself.
When we keep getting job rejections...
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Sometimes it can feel quite hard to get the job you want, after lots of applications, hardly any interviews, then seeing it go to someone else when you do get the interview. The BPS (British Psychological Society) recently shared a report on how this experience can lead to a negative outlook and thus to a vicious cycle, making it feel harder and
harder to find the right job. They looked at what helped to break this cycle and found that 'self-affirmation' could be helpful. They looked specifically at reflecting on your values as a positive action - and every coach can help you do that (I have a worksheet on it here). Harrison Assessments, which I am accredited in, can also be very helpful, in that it helps you to find your true strengths. See more below!
What's going on at This Coaching Business
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- I'm available for new clients and my coaching packages are fully open again. You might want just a quick focussed call for a single
issue, a series of six sessions to go deeper, or have me by your side for several months or even a whole year as you journey through a major transition. See here for full details. Many
combinations are possible, depending on what you need now. I usually work remotely these days, on Zoom or Google Meet, although if you are local it's often good to meet in person at least once.
- Harrison Assessments
is a comprehensive system across the whole of the employment life cycle, which reveals 'deeply rooted insights that determine essential high performance traits and those that will accelerate or hinder performance related to specific positions. It reveals a person’s work preferences and behavioural competencies that pinpoint the developmental opportunities and career planning to achieve personal satisfaction
and measurable job performance'. I have recently been set up as a Professional Coach with HA and I'll concentrate on personal development and careers. I'll soon have a dedicated website which I will share when it's ready.
- From time to time I write for a couple of websites, such as the Life Coach Directory. You can access all the back issues of my updates, with different themes over the last few years, on my website. There are two archives; one up to May 2018 (don't sign up for this one as it is archived, just view it) and one since then - when the world changed with GDPR!
- You can access the rest of my website here, with various free goodies, especially the Personal Life Analysis, which gets you started with the best places to make changes in your life. You can use it as often as you want, perhaps to track your changes over time.
I always do a free 15-30 minute intro phone call to make sure coaching is right for you before starting work with you. You can check my availability on the button below. (If it isn't right for you I'll try to signpost you to something that is.) And if you can't see a suitable time, contact me anyway and I'll find one for
you.
That's it for now, - have a great weekend. (Hope you like my new photo!) I'll be in touch again soon, All best wishes, Barbara
P.S. if you like this update and you got it elsewhere, you can get your
own personal regular copy by subscribing safely here. Please feel free to share it with anyone you think may like it; just keep the attribution to me. You also get a free email course on sign up that will help you increase your well being, effectiveness and resilience.
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