Hello again , how has life been treating you lately? I'm happy to report that I'm pretty much over my encounter with Covid now, and all the people I gave it to appear to have forgiven
me. This is good for me, and, as it happens, good for them too! Forgiveness is one of the ways we can increase our sense of well-being; it's like putting a burden down. Not always easy of course, but it really makes a difference. Today I continue the theme of neuroscience (NS) and why we should bother to know anything about it. Often we have a nagging sense that something's not right with our lives or work, and we need to do something about it; we might even be quite clear what needs to be changed but not know how to go about it. For example we
might want to overcome a bad habit, and this is one of the areas where NS is extremely useful. There is a whole body of research about the formation and weakening of habits, whether 'good' or 'bad' ones, and I'll be going into more detail about this next month. But the good news is, it's not your fault if you're struggling to change a habit, because, neurologically, old habits don't die; they're wired in and they don't disappear. BUT they can be overridden by new habits! So watch this space for
more.
Attention and why it matters
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Did you ever get told, as a child, to Pay Attention? I certainly did (thanks Mum!), and NS tells us that it's actually a good idea. Attention is one of the important functions
of the 'pre-frontal cortex', roughly the bit behind your forehead.
The brain is constantly on the look out for threats to our survival, and Paying Attention is part of this. It's about what we choose to focus on, out of the enormous stream of information that's constantly coming in, and we
can strengthen our powers of attention by deliberate practice - this is what Mindfulness is all about. Like most things in the brain, it improves with use and
practice. Attention is a bit like a flashlight - you can have a narrow focussed beam, or widen it to see over a broader area, as in the picture here. We can choose where to put our focus but we can't put it in two places at once, just as you have to have a flashlight on broad or narrow beam. This is why
multi-tasking, from a NS point of view, is a myth. Many people think they can do several things at once, and that then they are super efficient, but what's really happening is that the brain is quickly and constantly switching attention from one point to another. This is very tiring for the brain, and our mental
capacity to do so is a finite resource, so it can be used up. Have you ever had that feeling when you go, I just can't take anything else in today? That's not your fault either! And it's much more effective to do what you're doing, when you're doing it, so to speak.
Where do emotions come from?
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Here's something else to reassure you that what you thought was your fault, probably isn't! It's all in this book, which is about what modern NS can teach us about emotions, based on scientific research. It tells us that contrary to popular opinion, we are not slaves to our powerful emotions. In the author's words, 'you're not at the mercy of emotions that arise unbidden to control your behaviour. You are an architect of these exeriences. Your river of feelings might feel like it's flowing over you, but actually
you're the river's source.' (kindle edition p57) What a lovely image. This is 'How Emotions Are Made:
The Secret Life of the Brain' by Lisa Feldman Barrett. (my Amazon link). It's one of my favourite book recommendations - enjoy! And I'll be saying more about emotions and feelings in a future newsletter - I hope this whets your appetite. A thought for Valentine's daySeeing as St. Valentine's day falls this week, here's some research that I thought you might be interested in. It's about how couples manage their finances and how this might relate to how long their marriage
lasts. It seems there is an association between longer-lasting marriages and having some financial independence, rather than putting it all in the same pot. The findings are preliminary, and an association doesn't mean that one factor caused the other - but still, maybe it's worth a
thought. Speaking personally, we had separate accounts for most of our married life, and we got to nearly forty-five years - maybe that tells us something. Here's the link, if you want to have a look.
What's going on at This Coaching Business
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- I'm available for new clients and my coaching packages are open again in my Shop. See here for full details. Many combinations are possible, depending on what you need now. I usually work remotely these days, on Zoom or Google Meet, although if you are local it's often good to meet in person at least
once. Please note I am still in New Zealand until mid April, and there is overlap mostly for early evening for the UK. My calendar shows UK appointments from April, so feel free to
have a look and book in advance. (NB I don't work in the US or Canada.)
- Harrison Assessments is a comprehensive system which
can investigate the whole of the employment life cycle and beyond, revealing 'deeply rooted insights that determine essential high performance traits and those that will accelerate or hinder performance related to specific positions. It reveals a person’s work preferences and behavioural competencies that pinpoint developmental opportunities and career planning to achieve personal satisfaction and measurable job performance'. I now have a dedicated website and a new package in my Coaching Shop based on Harrison Assessments. And I've added some more brochures in Dropbox below to show the range of services that are offered. You can get in touch for a free call to find out more, on the booking link at the end of this email.
- I'm still happily working through my
course on Fusion coaching , which looks at the integration of coaching and counselling. As Frances, the trainer, says, 'Sometimes we are in the ‘OK’ zone and
sometimes we slip into the ‘not OK’ zone. It's just part of dealing with the inevitable ups and downs of life'. This course will give me some additional skills in this area, so that I can provide more value. I'll let you know when it's complete and what it means for my services.
- From time to time I write for a couple of websites, such as
the Life Coach Directory. You can access all the back issues of my updates, with different themes over the last few years, on my website.
There are two archives; one up to May 2018 (don't sign up for this one as it is archived, just view it) and one since then - when the world changed with GDPR!
- You can access
the rest of my website here, with various free goodies, especially the Personal Life Analysis, which gets you started with the best places to make changes in your life. You can use it as often as you want, perhaps
to track your changes over time. I'm aware that there was an issue with the graphic displaying. This has now been fixed, so do have another go if this affected you. There will soon be a new one, related to my work with Synergy Performance
Associates, and it looks at your leadership capabilities.
I always do a free 15-30 minute intro online call to make sure coaching is right for you before starting work with you. You can check my availability on the button below. (If it isn't right for you I'll try to signpost you to something that is.) And if you can't see a suitable time, contact me anyway and I'll
find one for you. Important - please don't phone me on your ordinary mobile line between now and April while I am in NZ as it will probably cost you a fortune!! Email or What's App instead. I won't have voicemail on, for the same reason.
That's it for now, - have a great weekend. I'll be in touch again in a couple of weeks or so, All best wishes, Barbara
P.S. if you like this update and you got it elsewhere, you
can get your own personal regular copy by subscribing safely here. Please feel free to share it with anyone you think may like it; just keep the attribution to me. You also get a free email course on sign up that will help you increase your well being, effectiveness and resilience. |