Hello again , I hope you are well and looking forward to a long Easter weekend. Today we are starting to take a look at Habits, how they arise, and how we can change the ones we don't like. And how we can strengthen the ones that are good for us, so that we just do them, without wasting energy on deciding every time what to do, and drumming up the motivation. This is part of the whole subject of Change, which is what coaches fundamentally work with.
Habits are generally a very good thing. They are basically automated behaviours that give us some kind of reward; they save us energy and help us to be more efficient. It's been estimated that over 40% of the actions we
perform every day are just the same as what we did yesterday, and what we will do tomorrow. Things like, how you hold your cutlery - you don't pick it up every time and say, Hmmm, how interesting, I wonder what is the best way to hold this nice shiny implement? You just get on with your dinner. And you always clean your teeth the same way, without thinking about it. All habits have factors in common - they consist of a series of actions that are set off by a particular situation, or 'cue'; they become habitual by constant repetition; once you've got a habit it is very hard to break it (although do not despair, you can overlay another habit on top, see next issue!), and you do them almost automatically, without thinking.
Addictions have some similarities, but I won't be dealing with this here as they often require specialist treatment. They differ from habits in that there is an element of compulsion - you have to do it, even if there are
very negative consequences; you can get physical dependence, with difficult and even dangerous withdrawal symptoms (such as with alcohol); and they are often self destructive.
We talk of a 'habit loop', a way you can analyse every habit you have. This helps to change it if you want to, which we'll look at more closely next time. It works like this - for example I like to play online scrabble with my friends in the evenings, but I
sometimes think I spend too long on it. There is a cue; I notice it is that time and I see my ipad. Then a craving - I really want to play the game and see if I can win! So I drop into my routine and play on, and my reward is the satisfaction of victory, or the feeling that I have closed all my notifications. What habits might you like to change? You could analyse them like this, and next time we'll look at how to change them.
Apologies if I have beaten this particular drum before, but this book is so good that I wanted to remind you about it. This is Atomic Habits by James Clear, and he goes into great detail about how habits arise, as I have summarised above, and simple steps - small, atomic steps - that you can take to maximise your chances of establishing the habit you want. He has lots of daily tips you can sign up for, and recently he has released a brilliant App called Atoms,
available in the App store, where you can track your progress towards a habit change. You can also set up an accountability buddy, which is known to increase motivation. There's a free and a paid version so you can take your pick.
I rather liked this little research gem, which I found recently. We know that exercise is globally good for us in lots of ways, and this study looked more closely at how it can generate a different mood.
They looked at the responses to copying dance moves from a video, performed by both a human and separately by a robot avatar. Whilst there were some stated limitations to the study, it emerged that simply copying and
performing the same moves as in a 'happy' or 'sad' dance could invoke the relevant mood. People also felt more motivated in their work setting. I notice this effect myself when I do exercise videos; I use the Les Mills series, which is brilliant, and they are all so cheerful and friendly that it rubs off on
me. And it's probably less embarrassing to try this if you're working from home!
What's going on at This Coaching Business
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- With my colleagues at Synergy Performance Associates, I am doing more these days with Harrison Assessments. This is a comprehensive system based on enjoying your work (how radical is that!!) which can investigate the whole of the employment life cycle and beyond, showing how your strengths need to be balanced and what is need for you to flourish best in your work. I have a dedicated website and a new package in my Coaching Shop based on Harrison Assessments. You can get in touch for a free call to find out more, on the booking link at the end of this email. I work mostly with individuals and my associate colleagues at Synergy
Performance Associates do the bigger projects. I've been sharing some of the brochures in recent weeks and you can now see them all on this
link. You can even see how you can be accredited with Harrison too; it's one of the most enjoyable courses I've done.
- I still take a few individual clients and my coaching packages
and downloads are in my Shop. See here for full details. Many combinations are possible, depending on what you need now. I usually work remotely these days, on Zoom or Google
Meet, although if you are local it's often good to meet in person at least once. I'll be back in the UK next week so I won't have to juggle time zones so much!
- You can explore my website here, with various free goodies, especially the Personal Life Analysis, which gets you started with the best places to make changes in your life. You can use it as often as you want, perhaps to track your changes over time. I'm aware that there was an issue with the graphic displaying. This has now been fixed, so do have another go if this affected you.
There is now a new one, linked to my work with Synergy Performance Associates, and it looks at your leadership capabilities.
I always do a free 15-30 minute intro online call to make sure coaching is right for you before starting work with you. You can check my availability on the button below. (If it isn't right for you I'll try to signpost you to something that is.) And if you can't see a suitable time, contact me anyway and I'll
find one for you.
That's it for now, - have a great weekend. I'll be in touch again in a couple of weeks or so, All best wishes, Barbara
P.S. if you like this update and you got it elsewhere, you
can get your own personal regular copy by subscribing safely here. Please feel free to share it with anyone you think may like it; just keep the attribution to me. You also get a free email course on sign up that will help you increase your well being, effectiveness and resilience. |