Hello , apologies that I am a few hours late sending this out today as I have just got home to the UK from the longest journey in the world. I was delayed en route and also had jet lag to contend with when I got
back, not to mention all sorts of things to sort out at home. It's amazing how much time all this takes. However, as I sat there in the plane for hour after hour, I began to reflect on life, the universe and everything....
We're always where we are!
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Before I was able to travel abroad, in my younger, busier days, I used to think that people who did fly off in planes kind of went into another dimension. As far as I was concerned, they just weren't there to hang out with, and I would be missing
them. It felt like they were in suspended animation until they reappeared again and life went on as normal. Yet in this last few weeks I have realised that actually, you just stand up, sit on a train or in a taxi, get up, walk a bit more, sit on the plane for hours and hours and walk out the other end. You take yourself with you and you're always exactly where you are, as you are, when you are! It sounds trivial when expressed like this but it was quite a powerful feeling for me. I felt quite displaced (well I was!) and far from my usual surroundings, but I was still myself with just the same responsibility to Be as well as I could be. Now I'm home, I feel somehow more embedded in my presence, my surroundings and my life. Perhaps even more mindful. And whilst I used to think that faraway places were exotic, I now see that
everywhere is exotic! We only have to look.
How best to change our habits?
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It's very hard to change a habit that's already well and truly wired in - imagine for example trying to unlearn how to ride a bike! It's just there. However, we can deliberately adopt and
practice new habits, which will eventually become automatic.
James Clear ( Atomic Habits)
identifies four ways to help us embed a new habit - - make it obvious - eg to eat better, have the fruit bowl on the worktop so that you see it
- make it attractive - eg get nice new gym clothes
- make it easy - eg
have your gym kit ready the night before
- make it satisfying - we are motivated by rewards!
Duolingo is a good example of this. There's a cute widget right on your phone, you get lots of rewards whenever you make the slightest progress and it can involve your friends. Before you
know it, you've got a habit and you say, Oh, I must just do my Spanish, or Navajo or whatever it is. Another way to help embed a new habit that you want is to 'stack' it with something you already do. So for example if you think you need more exercise, and you like listening to audio books, which you would do anyway, you could deliberately do so while going
for a walk. I did this when I wanted to make more use of our exercise bike; I also wanted to finish my iphone photography course, which consists of short videos, so I rested the ipad on the bike's handlebars and pedalled away whilst watching the videos! Two for the price of one!
Skyfaring: a journey with a pilot
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I wanted to share with you this beautiful book. It's not quite the usual sort of recommendation I give, about how to live well, but it is very meditative, beautifully written and can change your perspective. Of course I have been re-reading
it myself after my recent travels. I'm simply hoping you enjoy it. Here are the details, on my Amazon link.
In my latest trawl through research that sheds light on our daily behaviours, I felt quite satisfied to read this one, about the levels of pay we think we deserve. I've said before that we all seek to have a meaningful life, and this research adds
some weight to this idea. It's about what people do when they have a choice between meaningful work that does not pay as well as something that might be less attuned to your values, or not linked at all. It seems that we are in fact less likely to expect, or ask for, a higher rate when the work is meaningful in its own right, part of its own reward. However, maybe this is something to resist, before it becomes a way of artificially keeping pay lower than it might be. What do you think? You can read about it here.
What's going on at This Coaching Business
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- With my colleagues at Synergy Performance Associates, I am now involved in some work with teams and individuals in the NHS, using Harrison Assessments. This is a comprehensive system based on enjoying your work (how radical is that!!) which can investigate the whole of the employment life cycle and beyond, showing how your strengths need to be balanced and what is need for you to flourish best in your work. I have a dedicated website and a new package in my Coaching Shop based on Harrison Assessments. You can get in touch for a free call to find out more, on the booking link at the end of this email. I work mostly with individuals (especially around careers) and my associate colleagues at Synergy Performance Associates do the bigger projects. I've been sharing some of the brochures in recent weeks and you can now see them all on this link. You can even see how you too can be accredited with Harrison too; it's one of the most enjoyable courses I've done.
- I am still taking individual clients and
my coaching packages and downloads are all in my Shop. See here for full details. Many
combinations are possible, depending on what you need now. I usually work remotely these days, on Zoom or Google Meet, although if you are local it's often good to meet in person at least once. I'll be back in the UK next week so I won't have to juggle time zones so much!
- You can explore my website here, with various free goodies, especially the Personal Life Analysis, which gets you started with the best places to make changes in your life. You can use it as often as you want, perhaps to track your changes over time. I'm
aware that there was an issue with the graphic displaying. This has now been fixed, so do have another go if this affected you. There is now a new one, linked to my work with Synergy Performance Associates, and it looks at your leadership capabilities. We also have a new pinned
post in Linked In giving more detail about our work.
I always do a free 15-30 minute intro online call to make sure coaching is right for you before starting work with you. You can check my availability on the button below. (If it isn't right for you I'll try to signpost you to something that is.) And if you can't see a suitable time, contact me anyway and I'll
find one for you.
That's it for now, - hope you have a great weekend. I'll be in touch again in a couple of weeks or so, All best wishes, Barbara
P.S. if you like this update and you got it elsewhere, you
can get your own personal regular copy by subscribing safely here. Please feel free to share it with anyone you think may like it; just keep the attribution to me. You also get a free email course on sign up that will help you increase your well being, effectiveness and resilience. |