How do you make an apple turnover?
Push it down a hill.

I grew up on a farm.
We had a hen who could count her own eggs.
We called her the MathemaChicken.

I used to eat a lot of natural foods 

until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

I'm supposed to respect my elders, 

but now it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one.

“Buffet” is a French word that means “get up and get it yourself.”

I read that by law you must turn on your headlights 

when it’s raining in Sweden, 

but how am I supposed to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

We all know about Murphy’s Law. 

But have you heard of Cole’s Law? 

It’s thinly sliced cabbage.

One thing I just can't deal with-

a deck of cards glued together.