What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi, of course!

I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, 

but I sat on them.
So I guess I'll be serving squash instead.

Health experts suggest vegetables as part of Thanksgiving dinner. 

I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.

Speaking of Thanksgiving…

Last year when I brought a nice Thanksgiving meal to the table, 

I tripped and 3 countries were destroyed.

 I caused the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breaking up of china.

This year, I raised my own crossbred turkey.

I crossed a turkey with a banjo.

That way, it can pluck itself.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store 

but couldn't find one big enough for her family. 
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
He replied, "No, ma'am. They're dead."

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Arthur
Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers?

What should you expect at the end of Thanksgiving? 

The letter “g.”