AULD LANG SYNE

Guy Lombardo, Harry Houdini, Harry Kellar-

and the UVa Cavaliers?

The classic New Year's Eve tune has ties to both

the world of magic and to Charlottesville VA!

Lately I've noticed that people my age are much older than me.

Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes 

and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you.

Behind every husband who thinks he wears the pants 

is a woman who told him which pants to wear.

I went to a binocular store to buy a pair 

and I think they took advantage of me. 

I guess they saw me coming.

Why is no one ever the right amount of "whelmed'?