What do giving a holiday speech and giving a holiday gift have in common? Not a trick question!
When we think of the folks on our holiday gift list, we try to come up with something they'll appreciate that they didn't have before. A gift that will make them feel we gave it serious thought because we care about them. And when they smile and say, "I love this, it's just what I need!" they'll really mean it.
We can use this technique to overcome the fear of giving a speech at a holiday event. Whether it's a few words of welcome or a 10-minute recap of the past year's success, when we break down the elements of our gift-giving technique, we find three simple principles:
- We need to give something that has value to them.
- We need to stay within a few mutually agreed upon rules.
- We need to think about what would please them the most.
Question: What do all three of these principles have in common?
Answer: It's all about them!
When we're choosing what to give, we're not thinking about ourselves. We're thinking about what will be appropriate for them, will make them feel we cared enough to give something worthwhile they didn't have before. When we're giving a gift, at holiday time or any time, we're asking ourselves, "W.I.I.F.T.? What's in it for them?"
When we give a speech, the key to not being afraid is to use exactly the same principles:
- The information we're giving them is valuable.
- We're going to speak for an agreed upon amount of time in a format they can easily absorb in language they'll understand.
- Our talk is our gift to them. They want to leave the room knowing more than when they came in. We're giving them what they came to get and they'll be extremely pleased to take it home with them.
Question: What is the key to not being afraid?
Answer: "W.I.I.F.T? What's in it for them?"
Notice: In these three principles, there's no "I". We can't be thinking about ourselves at the same time that we're thinking about them. When we're focused on giving the audience our gift, there's no room to wonder if we're saying it right, if everyone agrees, if perhaps that guy in the third row thinks we're full of hogwash, or if they've got a basket of rotten apples under their seat ready to let fly at the first mistake.
We can't possibly be thinking about any of those things because our minds don't work that way.
Our brains are wired to think sequentially, one thought after another. It's physically impossible to hold two opposing thoughts in the same moment. If we're focusing our attention on giving the audience our gift with passion and gusto, we can't possibly worry about whether we're doing it 'right'. We can't be afraid because we're too busy sharing what we know, giving the audience the gift they came for, focusing on knowledge they
didn't have before they entered the room.
Our job is to give them our gift. When we do, we feel strong, confident, unique, sexy, and proud. We have nothing to fear.
