Speaking Is Sexy Tip, Vol. XII, #5
WHAT DO YOU SAY AFTER YOU SAY "HELLO"?
The world is getting ready to open up; at least that part of the world located between Canada and Central America is peering closely at the calendar, looking for an appropriate day to declare, “We’re open again!” There are going to be
celebrations. We’ll be meeting in indoor spaces, maybe in smallish groups to start with, where those of us who have been vaccinated will feel safe. Chances are you'll be invited to a few gatherings where you'll have to introduce yourself to strangers. Suddenly, the big question is: “New people? I’m out of practice! What do I say after I say, "Hello, my name is..."? Do I even say, My name is... or just stop at "Hello"?” Or like many of us, should I wait for the other
guy to say, "Hello, my name is..." and hope he'll just keep on talking while I think of something clever to reply?
We usually have between 30 and 60 seconds to make an impression. That’s long enough to say the important things we want someone to know, but not so long that they'll be rolling their eyes wondering when we're going to stop talking about ourselves. Some people take their cue from the one they're talking to. If she's quiet, they keep right on leading the conversation. If she looks like she wants to put a word in edgewise, they stop and let her.
For many of us, the hardest part is being the one to speak first. It's much easier to respond to someone who says ‘hello’ first. It's more intimidating to have to choose which particular person in the crowd we feel we’d like to know better.
This is where we could all take a lesson from politicians. They have mastered the art of walking up to strangers, looking them straight in the eye and saying with a big, warm smile, "Hi, I'm (name), I'm running for (office) and I hope you'll vote for me." They make it look so easy. Well, surprise, surprise! It is easy, if you've planned ahead and know exactly what you want to say.
Every time you speak, you have the opportunity to influence and inspire. Being influential and inspirational makes you a very sexy speaker. There's never a better moment to practice than at a party where everyone is celebrating, and feeling good is the goal of the day.
Ask yourself two big questions:
- Why do I want to meet these new people? (WIIFM)
- What do they need that I can offer? (WIIFT)
In other words, what's in it for me and what's in it for them? WIIFM and WIIFT are two acronyms that apply to almost any occasion where you need or want to influence and inspire new people.
If your goal is to get new business, offer them an example of a benefit you can provide. Certain universal benefits appeal to everyone, i.e., the measurable results of working with you, or something you can provide that no one else can. Take those first 10 seconds or so to grab their attention by saying what sets you apart from others in your profession. There'll be plenty of time later to say, "I'm an accountant."
If your goal is to build a social relationship, what do you have in common? You've both chosen to be here, that’s a start. Maybe you know some of the same people. You can use the reason for the party as a springboard to find other tastes you have in common.
When I’m asked what I do, I don't start out with, "I'm a speaker's coach." That just makes folks' eyes glaze over and they start looking around for someone else to talk to. But if I say, "I'm the Speaking Is Sexy Coach," their eyes light up, they want to know more, and we’re off to the races.
You have less than a minute to offer your listener a couple of reasons why he should keep talking to you. That’s enough time to decide if you're someone he'd like to know better. Memorize them if you need to, but definitely know them well enough to say them in your sleep. You never know who might be listening!
MARION CLAIRE coaches solopreneurs, business owners, middle managers, executives and professionals of all kinds to become the confident speakers they long to be. An autographed copy of her book, SECRETS of a UNIQUE & SEXY SPEAKER, is available on her website. She’ll customize a Speech or Workshop for your organization and help you write your speech for almost any occasion. For more information, go to speakingissexy.com
THE BOOK WITH ALL THE ANSWERS!
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How to be a better speaker
Secrets Of A Unique & Sexy Speaker, 155 Helpful Speaking Tips for Writing Your Speech, Facing the Audience & Overcoming Fear!
Warmest wishes & always speak with joy!
~ Marion Claire
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