As our brain and intelligence evolved, so did our ability to imagine, to calculate, to visualise and to extrapolate. We are able to conceptualise, work in the abstract, and when we choose to, literally detach ourselves from the real world, at least in our minds.

Along the way the system has created and normalised concepts that appeal to our large brains and hormonal triggers:

• Industrialisation 
• Mechanisation
• Consumerism
• Digitisation 
• Financialisation
• Corporatisation
• Politicisation
• Welfare-ism 
• Managerialism
• Robotics
• Online world 
• etc

This has changed what and who we relate to, and how we do it. We now try to simultaneously keep our real relationships with a few other people intact... while living lives where we increasingly relate to an ever-expanding array of options, that seemingly know no bounds:

• Possessions, wealth, material goods and status symbols.
• Expectations about progress and growth - or the artificial illusions of them, the... 'invisible hand'?
• Technologies and gadgets that enable social or industrial power. 
• Other phenomena and concepts, like brands, image, celebrities, social memes, online image curation, etc. 

Perversely, we have ended up living in a world where:

• Our home is a wealth creation mechanism - extension of the bank
• Likes are more important than hugs
• Artificial intelligence is more important than common sense
• Regulations and laws have more negative consequences than positive
• Automation is better than human inclusion and development
• Nature is expected to carry on taking what we do to it
• Making and throwing stuff away is normal
• We believe we need and are entitled to more stuff - bigger and better
• Our job and need for income may severely clash with our own values
• We might end up exploiting others or the environment because that is what is expected; the incentives are part of the system or culture
• Money, media and law (among a range of modern inventions) are used to control and manipulate wealth-channeling activity and large swathes of the population
• New extractive businesses and markets are dreamt up every day
• We idolise people that, it turns out in reality, are awful human beings!
• Virtually every aspect of online interaction has been designed to manipulate or exploit our instincts

Is it any wonder that mental illness and drug use occur at ever increasing rates now? We continue to abuse ourselves, fuel addictions, use violence against each other, and try to forget the harm being done to the natural world.  

This leads us to ask - what are we missing in this modern relationship complex? what is going wrong?

We (and others) suggest that we need to move with haste and conviction towards:

• Increasingly whole and full relationships within ourselves - meaning... getting real, honest, clear and truthful about being a human that has choice, agency and responsibility to their fellow humans. Who are we now, with what we know? and what shall we do in this transition? 
• Increasingly whole and full relationships within our communities - meaning...real relationships, real work together, real sharing of resources. Discovering our role, our usefulness with others, and taking decisive action when required. Being accountable to each other.
• Full relationship with the natural world - understanding that as individuals and communities, we don't get to exist without it. 

Moving away from unhealthy relationships with inanimate, abstract concepts and virtual worlds and towards deeper and better grounding and connections within ourselves, our families, communities and nature itself, might help us cope with the transition to a better future. But it is not easy work. The rules of transition and relative progress over absolute progress are difficult for most to reconcile.

And are we really up for looking inward and being more connected in community?? 

The truth is that most of us just want to continue with the same old games and advantages we have. We hate change and we love the comforts, conveniences and protections that we have and continue to enjoy. 

We explored some of these in our series on 'Those who Suck', having a crack at a subset of Oldies, Bureaucrats and Academics. These people are either in denial, are deluded or simply just don't care about what is actually happening and is likely to happen. There seems to be little doubt that a reset of some description is coming, it is now a matter of when.

Meanwhile, it turns out that the average young person is finding it increasingly difficult to reconcile this world. In complete despair, they are wondering how to exist in a system that is so stacked against them? Even worse, they may see their own parents and grandparents, often unknowingly, as co-conspirators against them.

We know what it is like to try and do the right thing for the future...very few people want to help, no one wants to pay - most are too comfortable to care. And of course, they have it all mastered, "nothing to see here in our patch" they say. 

While 'the oblivious many' march on with business as usual, most of our young and vulnerable look at them... without words, without hope, without a vision that they can credibly believe and own. Perhaps paying attention to, understanding, and putting effort into our missing relationships will help bring us closer to, and add momentum to finding a new real and sustainable transition pathway? The thing we call the Real Transition.

What small step could you take tomorrow or next week, to let go of out-of-date habits or relationships? Could you devote some effort and generosity to the kind of relationships we need? Perhaps just clearing some head space and asking a few more new questions might be a great way to start?