Thursday (friday eve -- )
I accidentally linked to the "mindset" page instead of the "masterclass" page of the website earlier this morning --
I am sorry about that!
If you'd like a for-free coaching call -- I'd love to chat with you -- and
that is Here:
stephanieodea.com/mindset
and the masterclass I allude to is at:
stephanieodea.com/masterclass
#oops
#stephwillhavemorecoffeenow!
:-)
[FLASHBACK: Early to mid 2000s]
Back when I was a new-ish wife and mother, every year as New Years or the New School year was approaching, I used to get
all excited to “Once and For All Organize My Life”.
Every single year like clockwork, me and my closest friends would vow that this year (or season), no matter what we would stick to an organizing schedule, begin working out again, and finally get a system in place that made us not feel like we were falling behind in life.
It wasn't rocket science:
We would make charts and checklists and decide to stick to the schedule we created for ourselves to DO ALL OF THE THINGS that adults and moms need to do to keep the house picked up, dinner on the table, and get the kids to school on time.
And of course (as you do when you’re excited about something new) we texted each other progress photos, gave ourselves high-fives, and felt proud.
But then real life happened…
👉 Kids got sick. Grandparents got sick. And then us parents would get sick.
👉It became exhausting and overwhelming to “police” the kids and spouses and follow them around the house to make sure they weren’t making messes
👉 Momentum and mojo was shot! We had spent
all that time and energy using limited stores of willpower and motivation to keep things going for those few weeks -- so that by the time the next season of life had started, we officially had nothing left, and our mindsets were starting to 'bounce back' to default mode (where the "good/bad", "black/white", "in/out", "all/nothing" thought-process that had PERPETUATED our initial problems in the first place).
Looking back I know exactly why it happened too.
We only made over PART of ourselves.
We didn't do what needed to be done on the INSIDE: the head work, addressing the problem, and creating actual brain-change.
We never addressed the CAUSE of our struggles, our RELATIONSHIP with time management, or our RELATIONSHIP with our health or finances – we were only focused on one tiny part of life – the part that you could see.
We just essentially threw another organizing system, another To Do list, and another short-term
band-aid at it.
And here's what inevitably happened as a result:
☑️ The change was temporary
☑️ To be 'on', we always had to be 'on' – – we were
playing a game of 'all or nothing'. We were either 'in' or we were 'out'
☑️ It addressed the symptoms – – we never addressed the CAUSES going on 'upstream'.
Once all that "go hard or go home" and motivational rah-rah wears off, WE ALL go back to our default thinking, way of living, and
habits.
Because we are creatures of HABIT (it's just science).
And boy oh boy! The above truths cost me A LOT of shame and heartache (The truth: I didn't know what I didn't know).
But in
reality, this was some of the most VALUABLE 'experimentation' I ever conducted!
Because here's what I discovered as a result:
Some of my friends and eventual clients really did ONLY need to change their routines and schedules. For some, a meal plan and chore chart was enough to completely change
their life forever.
But most of them were being held back by something BIGGER.
Most of them were caught up in the SAME up-and-down, short-term-change roller coaster that many get stuck on for decades.
The one that keeps many a SLAVE to hustling and a SLAVE to thinking you just have to be: “harder, faster, more”.
And just like me, none of them really had an organizing 'problem' or a motivation 'problem'...
It was a THINKING problem. More specifically it
was the "hustle culture mentality" that was the problem.
The all-or-nothing, black-or-white, up-and-down Hamster Wheel/Roller Coaster was the problem.
Because you can't ever get off! Or if you do…you become terrified you'll lose control or go off the deep end.
Either way, you're a slave to it. You're its hostage, and it controls your life more than you do.
And here's the honest truth:
You'll NEVER out-schedule, out-willpower, or out-smart your RELATIONSHIP
with who you are deep down inside.
NEVER.
And trying to address your INTERNAL struggles (the current wiring in your brain that's causing you to think, act, and behave the way you currently are around life and time management)...
...with ANOTHER checklist or ANOTHER time management program....
...is a recipe for FAILURE. I can flat-out guarantee it.
It really is as simple as that.
