Good Morning ,
“Disappointment is the
nurse of wisdom.” – Sir Bayle Roche
As a leader, have you ever found
yourself in an embarrassing moment that riddled you with feelings of disappointment and shame?
We have all been
there.
It was the first day of a new role
for me, and I was being introduced to my new team and organization. I was so excited. The night before, there was a reception to end day one of the kickoff. I danced, celebrated, and partied with my new team, peers, and leadership. The second day of the kickoff started at 8:30am, and I went to sleep about 2:30am. Well, I woke up at 7:00am, looked at my alarm, and hit the snooze button…You know exactly where this is going, don’t
you?
My phone, wildly buzzing, woke me
up at 8:30am! My team was trying to contact me. I leapt out of bed, got dressed, and rushed down to the session. Mind you, I told my team the prior day, “Let’s get some seats upfront!” Those words would come back to haunt me. As I entered the grand ballroom full of employees, I passed dirty looks from the staff and people were whispering to me, “you are late!”
I tried to act like I was talking
on my phone to create the perception I got caught with a competing priority. It didn’t work.
I entered through the back of the
event space trying my best to go undetected. Little did I know, I walked right into a lively event, the MC of the day saw me walk in and announced directly into the mic, “Look! I found him! Joshua is right here!” My head dropped in shame. I made my way to the front of the room with 500 people staring at the new Director- the new Director that had been recruited directly by the Vice President.
I’ll spare you the rest of the
details. Let’s just say that embarrassment, disappointment, and shame were feelings I felt for a very long time and still experience today.
As embarrassing and disappointing
as this experience was, I want to share with you what I did in the moment that allowed me to regain my confidence, and focus. Here are three things that helped me not feel like a piece of shit. I call it POS. Poise, Ownership, and Sincerity.
Poise
– Being poised in the aftermath of a shameful situation can be very difficult, but you have to calm yourself by breathing, and detaching from the action being an indictment on who you are. You are a collection of many different situations and experiences. One moment does not define you. When I sat down at the table with my team I was on public
display. The leadership team on stage definitely had fun with my embarrassing moment, but I collected myself, smiled, and even googled on my phone tips to get through the moment. One of the most important tips I found was owning it, but I had to remain poised to limit the impact the moment was having on me.
Ownership
– After the public fun that was made at my expense from the MC, as well as the leadership team on stage, I spoke with my new supervisor. I knew I had to own it, and own it without explanation or ego. I said, “I’m sorry. I actually wish I had more of an exciting story to tell. I simply overslept.” She replied, “Well, thank you and I know it won’t
happen again. You showed a lot of resilience in the way you handled yourself. That will be important working in this org.” It reminds me of a cliché saying that still holds true for me, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” – Charles R. Swindoll.
Sincerity –
Being sincere has more to do with actions than words. You have to own the moments of shame with humility and genuine accountability. Your ego cannot be at the center.
I have learned people are going to
judge you no matter what you do. It’s the work you do for yourself that matters. Shameful moments can either define you, or they can be part of the larger spectrum of experiences that inform who you want to be.
I took this moment and used it as
actionable fuel. That year, 50% of my team was recognized as the top sales performers in the organization. I also received the top director award.
Turn up the volume on the voice
that matters, yours.
