I Did It!
The ideal solution for everyday irritations
Since my husband, Bill, retired a few years ago, it has been challenging being around each other 24/7. We are not used to sharing every waking moment together.
Too much togetherness can be overwhelming at times. Annoyances occur in every relationship.
Here is how
I have been able to handle those irritations before they become mountains.
For example, sharing the kitchen and getting in each other's way creates tension.
Soon, I notice he is buttering toast with the utensil drawer partway open. I can only imagine all the crumbs I will have to wipe up afterwards. My irritation was building. Before I knew it, I could not help but say: "It would sure be nice if you remembered to close the drawer. "You are dropping crumbs that I will have to clean up later." I snip.
Yeah, I know. I don't want to sound like a nag. After all he is a big boy and the last thing he needs is for me to be correcting him.
With a grunt and groan he hurries to butter the toast and escape the
Next, I am more angry because he did not respond the way I wanted.
Maybe like a big hug and thank you my sweet wifey for telling me this!
That was the moment I knew I had to change. I promised myself that I would not correct him again.
oops. (This morning I asked him sweetly if he would cover the sausage he was heating up in the microwave!) No I did not get a response with a hug and a thank you. I admit it that I still need help. Practice makes perfect.
The solution which works every time to change annoyance to appreciation is this. When I see crumbs in the drawer, clothes on the floor or splatters in the
microwave I say these THREE LITTLE WORDS:
Even though it was may not have been me, it very well could have.
Who knows for
certain. And, who cares?
By me saying "I did it" took all the resentment away. I could not very well get mad at myself for having to clean up my own mess,
I smiled and then I laughed at that realization. Something so simple as saying that 'Did It' was perfect.
What does it matter who did it anyway. It is small stuff.
It was I who benefited the most. My husband thinks I am sweet and nice. He likes me better. And so do I.
By saying "I Did It! can relieve every irritant or annoyance in a matter of moments. It doesn't matter if you did it or not; it is the outcome that is important.
Imagine those times when someone cuts you off in traffic. Instead of swearing, say "I did it". Even if it wasn't your fault, it works the same to say it as if it was your fault. Aren't we all guilty of doing something stupid or irritating to another on the road?
Whatever the situation, we have all been there, too. Either we have done it ourselves, or thought about doing it. One thing is for sure we are all capable of making mistakes because we are human. That is what us humans
do. We make mistakes.
The next part of the solution to annoyances is this:
When someone makes us feel irritated, try listing at least five things you like about them.
This list will turn an irritation to one of appreciation and gratitude for that person.
Recently talking with a friend who was going through some health issues.
She began to complain about the doctors, the hospital, then about her husband. She went on and on. Working herself up with further validation. Feeling the victim is never a
I interrupted her and asked, "What is good about your husband?" Her entire being shifted. Speaking softly as she began to tell me what was good about her husband. He is a good
provider, helps around the house, never complains, and on and on. It was fun to see her go from angry to calm in an instant.
Think about the next time someone
close to you becomes annoying. Here is what you can do:
- Stop and Pause!
- List the 5 things you like about that person
It is very hard to be both irritated and calm at the same time. You get to choose which one you prefer.
People will enjoy being around you! They like us more as we like them.
We cannot control
others or make them behave the way we want to……Yet we can control how we react to them.
When people annoy us, something is annoying within
Remember this: When there is a finger pointing, there are three more fingers pointing right back at us.
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