Hi ,
TL;DR every woman can tap into her feminine energy but if you don't respect and trust your man, you won't allow him to lead you.
There's this Chinese phrase "駕馭" (jià yù) which doesn't really have a direct translation that can do it justice... but it loosely translates to "having the ability or skill to masterfully
handle."
And the only reason I'm sharing this is because I truly believe that no matter how ambitious, high achieving, successful, capable a woman is (not to be confused with being hyperindependent)... she will become soft, sweet, and relaxed in her feminine with the right man... a man who can "jià yù" her.
He needs to have the right temperament, personality, skills, emotionally intelligence..etc etc to prove that he is capable of handling her and he
can be someone she relies on so that she can express her soft feminine side.
She respects him and trusts in his ability to lead her.
This is how submission works in a healthy masculine / feminine relationship.
If you don't respect your man, if you don't believe in him and his ability to guide you, if you don't trust in his judgement and decision-making skills, you're not going to allow him to lead you... because what is he
leading you to? Oblivion?!
In a healthy relationship, submission is earned by the man and then given by the woman through mutual trust.
A leader is not a leader without anyone to lead... your submission gives him that role because you can very well lead yourself without a man!
And a lot of girlies always take this the wrong way, but it isn't about blindly following your man, not voicing any of your opinions, being weak, or
giving up the driver seat of your life...
It's about allowing someone you trust to guide you and your relationship, and take care of you both as a unit... kind of like the way you've been wearing the pants and leading the men in your past relationships...but now let him wear the pants 🤦🏻♀️😂
Don't trust that he'll be able to do a good job?
Ah... there's the problem then.
Either he can't lead or you don't know how
to let go.
I always find it funny when men say they want a woman who is submissive, yet he's shown zero leadership capabilities, he's done nothing to earn her trust, he's never solved any of his own problems let alone hers, he doesn't have his own life in order, he isn't financially stable, he's never provided a safe and secure space for her, he's never allowed her to feel safe and secure... he's weak.
Why would women submit to
that?
We wouldn't.
Especially not when we're well educated, high achieving, and already got our lives together.
But of course, for some of us girlies and our romance brains, we sometimes want that strong masculine man to kind of wrestle us a little bit before we "give up" our fight for dominance...
And sometimes, it is possible.
I've seen very successful women be particularly
difficult until a man who truly views her as his dream girl step in to challenge her, as gentlemanly as possible, and firmly let her know that he's gonna be taking care of her.
But the chances of that happening are very slim for most women.
I've only really seen this happen to high level C-suite women who although are very successful, they are already quite feminine and know how to be playful so they're able to attract the men they want already.
They're just a little haughty because of their material accomplishments.
So if you catch yourself not really knowing what to do because you're quite accomplished or you're a go-getter and you have high expectations of yourself - that's fine... you just have to know when work is work, and not forget that outside of work, you're still a soft feminine woman who wants to be loved, treasured, and cherished.
Remember that leveling up isn't about
raising yourself to unreachable heights, it's about improving yourself to where you want to be.
Love you,
Nadeen xx.
P.S: Today's challenge was to write down 3 things I'm grateful for so I'm gonna share it with you girlies
- super grateful for the community of empowered women that we have here, I truly appreciate you so so much
- super grateful for my past experiences, good and bad, because it has
led me to where I am today and I'm very proud of who I am now
- super grateful for how loving and understanding my fiancé is because it is through his encouragement that I have the strength to do some of the things I've always wanted to do
If you haven't seen my glow up project, you can download it here 💖