Hi ,

One of the reasons why I felt like I dated down in my early 20's was because of my own insecurities. 

I had a serious case of imposter syndrome while attending UC Berkeley, and felt like everyone around me was so much smarter and cooler.

Part of that manifested itself in me not wanting to date guys at my school because I was afraid that they'd see that I didn't belong there so I just didn't even try.

Anyways, I had a spoiled girly girlfriend in my second year who I soon found out was rotationally dating three men - the first time I've ever heard of this. 

And I was furious with her! 

I had asked her "isn't this cheating?" and she explained to me that they haven't reached the exclusive commitment stage yet, they were getting to know each other and just dating. 

One was a senior in her major who always helped her with homework and exams, another taught her how to start an online business and helped her manage it, and the third was a local restaurant owner who always got her groceries or brought her food.

And because old me back then was stuck in my old ways and thought she was so wrong, blah blah blah, we eventually grew apart. 

If we're being honest here, I was actually a bit of a jealous hater... 

I remember thinking to myself, how come I wasn't able to do this, how come I could never attract men who were obsessed with me, how in the world did this girl get all these men wanting her attention and just willingly doing all these things for her while she decides who to pick?

Because up until then, I only thought the hottest, prettiest, bombshell girls got this kind of special treatment. 

I was so wrong.

It was because she had that princess energy, that feminine confidence that wasn't in your face or snobby at all. 

Her confidence was top tier. It was this calm inner knowing and understanding of herself. She was just so sure of who she was and what she deserved that she would never think that she was unworthy. 

She put herself first, always had her best interest at heart, and it didn't matter what her background was or where she came from, she knew where she was going and she never stopped working on herself, elevating her skills, trying new things, and living this fun and amazing life. 

She really had things figured out.

She went on to participating in an international pageant after graduation, didn't win but met her business tycoon husband who helped put her through Harvard b-school, she started multiple successful businesses which she sold, started a family, and now is retired at 35 and when she is not traveling the world or at one of her other homes, she is living in one of the wealthiest zip codes in the US.  

The point is any girl could be her. You just need the right self-concept, have direction, and know your worth.

Thinking of you,

Your big sis Nadeen

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