Hi ,
When you want to be provided for, you're usually living at the man's means.
Meaning, he's not really overextending financially when you come into his life nor are you expecting him to pay for your living expenses if he doesn't already have the means to do so.
This is very important because you can
definitely meet a provider minded man, but if he can't give you the lifestyle you want, you really should leave that man alone.
With that said, for a lot of men, they are already paying for their own mortgage or rent, paying for their own utilities, paying for their own groceries, paying for his own car and insurance, paying for his own vacations...etc etc
There is no reason why he shouldn't be able to still afford that when he's in a
relationship.
A man who is waiting for a woman to join his life so he has less of a financial burden is looking to have his life subsidized by her and truthfully, can't really even afford his own lifestyle...therefore, probably should not be dating until he is in a more stable situation.
He is waiting for the relief to have someone pay half of what he already pays so he doesn't have to.
I once knew a guy who bought a nice swanky
bachelor pad in the city, got a girlfriend, moved her in, asked her to pay half of everything, slept with her...then when they broke up years later and she moved out... his biggest concern was having to pay for the entirety of HIS mortgage on his own.
What did she get out of this?
No equity in the home.
No marriage.
Low savings from all the "rent" paid.
Years of unpaid emotional & mental labor.
And a chunk of her
youth wasted because she thought he was the one.
What did he get out of this?
Double the equity in HIS home with half the payment.
More financial stability with all the money he saved.
Free sleepy services.
A beautiful home decorated by her.
Warm delicious meals cooked by her.
WAKE UP, girlies.
You're better off with a roommate.
At least with
a roommate, everything is split exactly 50/50 including chores, you're not taking on any emotional or mental unpaid labor, nor offering any sleepy services.
When you date a man, you have to look at what is he ACTUALLY in a relationship for? Does he actually want to be a boyfriend and eventually a husband? Does he actually want marriage? Or is he looking at what someone can bring to the table?
Think about what is he ACTUALLY doing FOR
YOU?
Seriously.
It's all very easy to see so pay attention and stop making excuses!
Love,
Nadeen xx.