And here we are—already halfway through January. I hope you're continuing to ease into this new year and you're being gentle with Your Self as we move forward.
Now that the holidays are behind us and we have some distance from them, I have a question for you. How much drama was involved for you and yours? You know—those over the top moments of (fill in the blank): anger, anguish, upset, acting out, sorrow, upheaval, meltdowns and so on?—those moments that bring everything to a grinding halt as the players involved (including us sometimes) make a scene?
I'm using performance references on purpose because in many ways, these moments are just that. They're a presentation—a way to be seen, heard, regarded, not dismissed. We all know those moments and have even orchestrated them ourselves (consciously or not) when we felt there was no other option. And truth be told, those moments of drama—be it high or low— cannot be ignored or denied.
I've been pondering these moments for the past few weeks and have come up with a theory. It's still in rough form, and yet as I overlay it onto certain moments, it seems to hold. What if the 'drama' in our lives is how we—or those around us—are coping with the underlying trauma that has yet to be addressed?
For instance, let's take someone who is consistently late: There's the well worn apology, the traffic/ work obligations / lost track of time series of excuses. Irritating? Yes. That's a separate issue and when we're charged by this repeated behavior, we're not doing our work. This is what it is.
Now let's dive a little deeper. What if this stems from some kind of former trauma for this person? a meeting from the past that resulted in an accident of some kind? or a severance of a relationship? or the very act of meeting was forbidden? or socializing triggers anxiety and reluctance? just to name a few possibilities.
When the fallout from the accident, or the sorrow from the breakdown of a relationship, or the 'taboo' act, or the discomfort of being with others hasn't been addressed, the ability to be in those moments will be compromised. And if the person doesn't have the resources to deal with or transcend the initial upheaval, then what tends to surface is a dissonant reaction or response
to what's happening in the moment, what I call "Drama vs. Trauma" (3:20)
