Hello ,

I’m hearing this word a lot. Almost every client I’ve spoken to recently has responded to the question “How are you” by starting with “I’m very …”

Very busy ... stressed ... tired.

In today’s fast-paced world this isn’t an uncommon feeling and often it’s almost a default, automatic response to the question “How are you?” 

It’s become a habit but what does it actually mean and how can you break the cycle and do something about it?

Define the 'very' problem

Using the word very to describe how you’re feeling or having to deal with an excessive amount of work doesn’t give much of a clue or understanding of what’s really going on.

If it’s the normal, default response then how do you define the situation when you become even busier or stressed. You start to accept the extreme state as normal which downplays the severity of what you’re going through and makes it difficult to see when you really need help.

Find a solution

What’s the level or extent of your busyness, stress or tiredness? On a scale of 1-10 how ‘very’ … are you really? Where 10 is unbearable, extreme, couldn’t be any worse. How is today, worse compared to yesterday, last week, last month? 

To help identify how much of a problem this is - keep track on a daily basis. Check-in with how busy, stressed or tired you’re feeling each day. Make a note of how it varies from day to day or week by week. Are there external or internal factors that contribute to how you’re feeling. For instance, overwhelm, too many demands, lack of sleep.

Describe your feelings another way to more clearly represent what’s going on. 

• If you’re stressed, use words such as overwhelmed, anxious, under-pressure … 
• If you’re busy, words such as disorganised, chaotic, overloaded … give you a better idea of what’s really happening. 

Perhaps there's a positive to being busy - exciting, challenging (in a positive way), motivated.

Take a step back

Instead of rushing headlong into dealing with the busyness and creating more stress. Take a deep breath and take a step back. 

Identify the source of your busyness, stress or tiredness. Is it internal or external?

What specific tasks are causing your stress and busyness? 

• Prioritise these tasks and decide if they can be delegated or if you need to ask for additional support. 
• Break them down and tackle them one step at a time, so you feel less overwhelmed.
• Clarify your boundaries as these can often be a source of busyness and stress. Push back when you need to and focus on your own responsibilities and not everyone else’s.
• Learn to say ‘no’ more often and make sure you communicate your limits to colleagues, friends and family. 
• Be more realistic about how much time you have available and how much you’re able to do or take on.

The more proactive you are, the more control you have over your time and the less likely you are to experience very extreme feelings.

Make yourself a priority

When you recognise that you’re becoming busier, more tired or stressed, focus back on your own health and wellbeing - mentally and physically.

• Don't give up your exercise routine, even when you’re really busy, because you haven’t got time. Make time, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Use that gym session or exercise class as a marker for when to stop.
• Stop working later and later, making yourself more tired because you’re trying to catch up or dealing with an unrealistic workload.
• Include regular breaks during throughout the day so you can refocus, recharge and stay on track.

The more tired you are, the more stress has an impact and the less productive you’re likely to be, which then adds to your busyness.

Break free from the ‘very’ cycle and make a conscious decision to do things differently. Understand the causes of your stress and tiredness, look after yourself better and reduce how often you feel 'very' busy, stressed and tired.

The more you take control of your time, the better you’ll feel. You’ll have a more balanced view of how busy, stressed and tired you really are. 

It will become the exception rather than the ‘norm’ and you’ll be able to manage it more appropriately when it happens.

Until next time,

        Clare