After that comment, I made a concerted effort to avoid sneaking a peek at the super-fit, super-flexible (and of course, drop-dead gorgeous) yogini student to my right. I had a feeling that whatever I saw would cause my jaw to drop in awe and envy (perhaps in a new yoga pose – “Dropped Jaw”?) Instead, I spent the rest of the class dutifully focused on my own positioning, breathing, and intention.

Of course, we can’t go through life studiously ignoring other people who may cause us to “compare and despair.” As we think about our work, our careers, and especially when we grapple with what’s next for us, we can’t help but notice what other people have accomplished, the dream jobs they have landed, the kind of lifestyle they have attained. We may find ourselves feeling envious.

Rather than pretending that envy is an emotion that never afflicts us, I find it’s helpful to make friends with envy. It can be very useful.

What is envy telling you?

Envy usually has a hidden message for us:

• It can be a message about what is lacking in your life, career, or job.
• It can help you discern what you really want.
• It can be a reminder that you are capable of more, better, or different than what you are doing/being right now.

And yet, envy does not tell the whole story. When we envy something that someone else has — be it a job or career path, a house, a relationship, material wealth, a vacation, an award, an adventure  — we are usually fixated on the object of our envy, and not looking at the whole picture of that person’s life. Sure, they have a high-profile job that they’re great at, but do they have a fulfilling personal life, good health, and/or work/life balance? And even when people seem to us to “have it all,” we usually have no idea what is truly going on behind the scenes.

From “compare and despair” to “admire and aspire”

Read more...

Photo by Average Jane