Passing gifts of love through the generations

Here we bask in the aftermath of the holidays...replete with good food, spending time with family and friends, and maybe procrastinating a little on the clean-up. Maybe the kids are still hanging around for another couple days, with remnants of shredded wrapping paper lingering in the corners reminding us that the gifts have all been opened. Or have they?

As we receive all the year-end appeals from our alma maters, local charities, public radio, and the many other causes we value and believe in, we are reminded of the importance of the gifts we offer.

Our own nonprofit, the Center for Sustainable and Cooperative Culture (CSCC), is in the midst of our end-of-year fundraising campaign. CSCC’s programs provide people with the knowledge and tools to live sustainable, meaningful, and interconnected lives and support Dancing Rabbit in being a vibrant community which embodies these values; catalyzing the transition to a regenerative future. Thanks to the Mycelium Foundation and John Simpson, every dollar we raise up to $12,000 will be fully matched.

Donate! And double your impact!

Every year I labor to find the perfect gifts for my children. Something that expresses my gratitude for their existence and shows how deeply I know, see, and love them as their interests and passions grow and evolve over the years. Gifts that express my hopes for their wellbeing and happiness. Gifts that will help them to grow and deepen. Gifts that honor the love and dreams passed down to me from my own parents, grandparents, and even more distant generations.

I spent some time earlier this month with my folks. Well, with my mom. Dad is in a memory care facility and really doesn’t have much left in the way of words or clear indication that he’s present or knows who he’s with…but that’s not the story. In addition to helping mom review her updated end-of-life paperwork, we sorted through the accumulated keepsakes and photos from my dad’s side of the family, sifting through boxes that probably haven’t been opened since the early 1980’s. It seems like I’ve always known about where I came from on my mother’s side (Scotland, early 1700’s, deportation to the colonies by the English crown after a run-in with the law…all very Scottish), but this was my first deep dive into my dad’s side of the family. I was deeply struck by a thread that seemed to run through all those years…giving gifts of knowledge, hope, resilience, opportunity, and skills to each successive generation.

This is what we all hope for isn’t it? To pass along to our children the wherewithal to take advantage of ever bigger and better opportunities? To see them develop the ability and confidence to adapt to whatever challenges life presents to them?

I imagine that’s what my great, great, great grandfather Lars Rikollson was doing when he emigrated in 1840 from Ulvik, Norway with his young family to the great plains, kicking around rural Illinois and Iowa. Eventually his four-year-old son, Richol, grew up and staked a claim in Kansas where he worked the land and raised his own family.

Natural building is hardly a new concept, as this sod house Richol built for his own family clearly shows, making do with whatever local materials were available. We certainly have taken it to new heights, combining these age old skills with a more modern mindset of working with the local environment instead of in opposition to it.

Give the gift of skill and competence with our natural building programs or Permaculture Design course

Richol and his wife, Sophia, had eight children, not all of whom lived to adulthood. My great grandmother, Nellie Richolson, (the spelling changed along the way) was the eldest, and had a gift for music. In addition to working their land to grow enough food to support the family, Richol (going by Richard now) established a lumber yard and used his growing financial security to ensure his children received the finest education available. Nellie had the freedom to explore her talents and toured the United States with the Boston Ladies Symphony Orchestra of Topeka Kansas (she played the tuba) for several years.

Give the gift of self-knowledge and resilience with our women’s retreats

As the lumber business thrived, Richol brought on a new young business partner who was something of a cattleman from Fayetteville Indiana. Clinton Scott had strong business acumen and cut a rather dashing figure to boot, sweeping Nellie off her feet. Together they grew both the lumber and cattle businesses, involving their only daughter in the day-to-day operations before sending her off to college to continue her education. I still remember family vacations with my grandmother, Donna, and how she spent her spare time reading prospectuses and managing her investments.

This is where my exploration of family history turns bittersweet. Grandma Donna met the love of her life, Stephen Carleton, in one of those crazy chance encounters that would take too long to recount here. Suffice it to say that they recognized something in each other, and corresponded, and one thing led to another. Grandpa Steve was himself descended from a hopeful immigrant (Bertha Oberle, Stuttgart. Germany, arrived in the US in the late 1800s), orphaned along with his siblings as a youngster and all taken in by a New England preacher’s family.

Give the gifts of experience and hope with our immersive visitor program

Grandpa Steve was a sporting fellow, and played football during his time at Brown University in Rhode Island. He was working for New York Telephone when he met my grandmother, and they established their new family in Teaneck, New Jersey, retiring to Oradell (where great grandpa Scott and Nellie also joined them after buying their own house there). My own father was also a sports guy in his heyday…football, soccer, handball, tennis, you name it. I see echoes of myself, my brother, my own children in the photos of my dad as a teenager, a young man serving in the Army, and (perhaps all too well) as a middle-aged corporate worker bee.

My understanding of my dad has grown exponentially, even as my childhood feelings about him remain conflicted. I find myself wishing I could revisit with him at a younger age, with the life experience I’ve since accumulated, and have more time to connect and just be present for one another. That time has passed and I’m left to work though our past relationship on my own, but I truly appreciate the added dimension found in this deeper family history.

Give the gifts of connection and purpose through our work exchange and internship programs

These old photo albums and often cryptic notations are both illuminating and frustratingly incomplete. Who were these people really? What were their hopes and dreams? How did they navigate the complexities of life? How can I possibly honor the untold ways in which I have ultimately benefited from their labors and sacrifice? From their bold and extravagant risks? As I see my own fading years approaching on the horizon, what can I do to keep the forward momentum for my own children and subsequent generations?

Give the gifts of heritage and remembrance

Legacies are an odd thing to contemplate. Sitting with my mom to discuss which causes and institutions she wanted to ensure received something from her will, and how to best ensure her grandchildren were supported, was both logistically straightforward and emotionally awkward. How does one best support the hopes and dreams of their children or grandchildren? How does one respect and honor the efforts and sacrifices of their parents and grandparents?

What best honors what has gone before and builds for what is yet to come? Working through these questions with mom during this visit was perhaps the first time I’ve felt the importance of looking beyond just the current moment or year so deeply.

We are asking for your 2023 year-end support in all the usual ways for all the usual important reasons, whether that’s registering someone you know to attend one of our many different programs, or making a donation or memorial gift to support Dancing Rabbit’s overall mission.

Donate! And double your impact!

But what happens next? What happens when we look at the longer timeline and follow the past through the present into the future? If, like me, you are beginning to look at how your own legacy can shape and influence the future in positive ways for your descendants and indeed the world, then start talking with your family now and schedule an appointment with your legal and financial advisors. Bequests or beneficiary designations are only a few of the many ways you can include Dancing Rabbit and the Center for Sustainable and Cooperative Culture in your own estate planning process.

However opportunities may be created, no matter what form they may take, the gift of hope is perhaps the most powerful and wondrous gift there is. May the hopes and blessings of this season be with you and your family always from generation unto generation.