Expectations are often cited as a key source of stress during the holidays for those who are facing loss, breakups, depression, illness, and bereavement. But there's more to it.

In actuality, the pressure to participate in activities and events is less of a problem for many people than the sheer pressure of how one is supposed to feel during this time of year.

If your employees suffer from depression, or if this time of year includes struggles over memories past, encourage clients to focus on the here and now, and practice avoiding the “future-focus” of what they may imagine facing.

Ask clients to consider last year, or other past holidays when they found support. Do they know from past holiday seasons where their support network lies?

This network may include compassionate family members or friends who know one best. Help your EAP client plan for when they can connect or share time with these special people.

Discuss a support plan and include the role of the EAP or a mental health professional, as well.

The EAP client may only need a session or two to feel energized and in more control of their emotional state.

There’s an adage among members of 12-step groups: “Bring the body, and the mind will follow.”

This action step means that behaviors can sometimes influence feelings.

So, discuss with your client the nature of opportunities to participate in a seasonal events. If one appears, and the client does not feel motivated to attend, discuss his or her participation and the "bring the body" principle.

Explore the possibility of being surprised by an uplifting experience and a positive change in mood that they might otherwise have missed.