If we want to be in our lives feeling spacious, open, and at ease, we’re asked to explore the conditioned patterns that arise in our everyday experience. How is it that we find ourselves in the mud of our conditioning...once again?
One common pattern that I hear a lot about is the tendency to blame others for our problems.
This pattern can be so enticing—because we think we're right. We focus our attention on how we’ve been wronged by someone else, leaving us stuck in pain and resentment.
What does the voice of blame sound like?
- It’s your fault;
- You need to change;
- You are responsible for my problems;
- If only you were different, I would be fine.
It’s a critical voice that denies and separates.
Here’s how blame makes us suffer. We have a painful emotional reaction when something happens—and instead of turning toward it, we go into our heads, creating a story of blame about the other person that we might repeat for decades.
We abandon the tender parts of ourselves rather than getting curious about them and meeting them with love and care.
The guaranteed result of blaming another? We’re lost in emotional pain, waiting for the other to change so we can be at peace.
And we miss out on the peace that’s possible—right now in this precious moment.
If you are caught in a story of blame, here is your call to action: turn your attention away from the other and inward to your own experience.
Be kind to your humanness; welcome your tenderness and vulnerability.
If you want to be free, don't listen to the mind that tells you you're right and get curious about what you're experiencing inside. How?
- Start to meet the hurt that’s been living in you;
- Take time to breathe with the blocks in your body;
- Acknowledge the energy of sadness, grief, and longing for connection, and give it space to move freely in you.
Rather than blaming another, you walk your own path, focusing on what you can do by cultivating a friendly relationship with your inner experience.
When we turn inward and meet ourselves with love and understanding, something miraculous happens.
- We’re less in our heads and more available to our present moment reality;
- We feel softer and more peaceful;
- Our hearts have space to open to others and ourselves.
No longer so self-focused, we're more loving and generous—maybe even toward the person we feel wronged us.
The story of blame serves pain and separation. The simple shift of turning inward is the sacred movement toward, peace, ease, and liberation.
