What I’ve seen so clearly is that most of our thoughts are incredibly harsh and unkind. They criticize other people, they judge the things that have happened to us in the past, they go on about how we're essentially flawed, and they tell us what’s not possible and what we can’t do.
And how do we feel when these thoughts are living in our mental space? Some combination of anxious, sad, tense, angry, lonely, disappointed, inadequate, shameful, and separate.
I can’t find one way that these thoughts are kind. Yes, they may have protected us in some way in the past. Mine kept me in line so I wouldn't be judged by others. And I honor them for helping me.
But, at this point in time, they’re old news. They don’t support happiness or affirm the appreciation of the present moment. And ultimately, they aren’t even true—so why give them energy?
Recognizing how harsh these thoughts are inspires me to be so much kinder within. I don’t think of myself as a mean and violent person. But letting these thoughts run unchecked feels mean and even violent toward myself.
They take up energy, put me down, and keep my attention focused on me, me, me—what’s not okay, what’s wrong with me and my life. It’s boring!
Turning inward with kindness is like a breath of fresh air. And this is what it looks like:
- Politely noticing the thoughts, but not being interested in what they’re telling you. Not feeding the judgments, complaints, and put-downs;
- Turning down the volume on negative noise in your mind so you’re available to openness, presence, and peace;
- Staying here, with the breath and sensations, rather than moving into the stream of thinking. Expanding into the space of Now.
Why not try it? Look up from your screen and come alive to the whole of the moment—feel through your senses…tap into the space of not knowing…be grateful for what’s being given…
Notice the quiet peacefulness that’s here and available outside of thinking. This feels so much kinder, right?
Consciousness is already essentially kind because it resists nothing. Deeply accept everything, and you'll stand as the infinite field of conscious awareness that is effortlessly kind.
Some of us have not been treated with much kindness during our lives. So we're left feeling uncomfortable with it and maybe not even knowing what it is.
If this applies to you, start right where you are with a baby step. Just for a moment, turn away from the critical voice inside and just be.
When you bring kindness toward yourself, the inner war with your own experience ends. And here you are…happy…joyful…generous…and free…
