HSOL 200: THANKSGIVING, THANKSGETTING, JUST THANKS!

Published: Wed, 11/17/21

Edition 200: THANKSGIVING, THANKSGETTING, JUST THANKS!

NOVEMBER 2021

944 words of content, including Tips to both GIVE and RECEIVE the power of Gratitude. Approximate content reading time: 3.77 minutes, and isn’t your Happiness worth it?

This newsletter speaks to Leadership, Happiness, and Coaching in your life and work.

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Gift box with a bow and a note that says thank you on it

Part 1: ThanksGIVING – How do you offer it?

As the American Thanksgiving holiday approaches, our thoughts turn to Giving Thanks and the emotion of Gratitude. This emotion is so foundational to the experience of all the Positive Emotions that I believe it is impossible to oversell its importance or speak of it too often.

Gratitude is defined as, the quality of being warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankfulness.

Reminders about the Importance of Gratitude

Expressions of Gratitude are the bricks of the foundation upon which Happiness, Optimism, Hope, and Joy are built. (No surprise that nearly every culture and society, now and past, has at least one holiday that celebrates gratitude or appreciation.)
Practiced regularly, Gratitude shapes your worldview toward noticing abundance versus scarcity, since it focuses on what you Have versus what you Lack.
You bring positive energy to the conversation whenever you speak with others about something for which you are grateful.
Grateful people make better friends, parents, coworkers, and leaders.
Finally, when you practice gratitude, you feel more content with the world, no matter what your current state (even unemployed!).

Practice makes Better

If you want to learn the piano or run a marathon, you must practice, practice, and practice. The same is true of emotional states. Here are three intentional activities that strengthen Gratitude.

Keep a Gratitude Journal. This is the most basic and powerful practice in all of Positive Psychology. Most happiness books place this practice at/near the top of the list. Regularly write down three good things from the past day or two. Pencil and paper or online journals work equally well. This builds your capacity to notice more in-the-moment joy.
Say, “Thank you**” Those who say ‘thank you’ more often than ‘please give me….’ experience higher life satisfaction. **or Gracias, Grazie, Arrigato, Obrigada, Ďakujem, Asante – any language works!
Notice the Invisible and the Infrastructure. When was the last time you gave thanks when the lights go on when you flip a switch? Or that clean water flows from your faucet? Or that you can live without fear of being assassinated in your home? Much of the world’s population still lacks these life basics, so take a moment to appreciate what may have become invisible to you.

"Whatever we are waiting for -- peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance -- it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart.” ~Ellen Vaughn

Part 2: ThanksGETTING – How do you receive it?

As the saying goes, It is better to give than to receive. But if you pour water into a leaky glass, it won’t slake your thirst. So, let’s look at the receiving end of the process.

Do you have a friend who is impossible to praise? If you say, “I appreciate the work you did,” might they say, “thank you for saying that?”

Have you ever selected and wrapped a special gift, then had the recipient take it and place it in a closet? Yeh, it feels like that.

Do you know anyone like this? Actually, you do. Me.

I used to deflect praise and gratitude. Pay me a compliment? I’d explain that it was “the team.” Say you admire my speaking or problem-solving skill? I’d talk about how the group was unusually cooperative, or that I was lucky that day.

I had no idea that I was effectively dissing those who were trying to share gratitude with me.

Then one day I found myself confronted by a man (later my coach!) who refused to let me walk away from the conversation. “I’m not feeling heard,” he said. “I just shared with you my admiration for what you did, and you just blew me off.” What was this guy talking about?

As it turns out, he was right. I learned from that moment, and many others since, that I have trouble accepting gratitude, praise, compliments, and admiration. I mean, the sound comes into my eardrums, but I don’t always HEAR and accept the gratitude. I had to learn to stop, make eye contact, feel the gratitude in my body as a physical sensation and say, simply, “thank you.”

Pay attention to how you handle thanks and gratitude. When someone thanks you, instead of tossing back a quick “no problem,” stop, smile, look into their eyes and say, carefully and from your heart, “it was my pleasure.”

And when someone gives you the “gift” of praise or appreciation, pause, take a deep breath, feel the smile on your face, and say “Thank You.” Accept the gift, seeing it through the eyes of the person who chose it, wrapped it, and took the time to deliver it, just for you.

Show respect for that person who did the giving and honor the emotion that shows up in you as you get thanked.

Part 3: Movie Share

My favorite movie to evoke gratitude is this indie gem from 2010. It was not a huge commercial success, but it won Sundance awards and my heart.

HappyThankYouMorePlease. It’s got a killer song at the end of the movie and a ton of sweet stories along the way. Definitely a movie that will make you Cry for Happy.

For those who celebrate it, Happy Thanksgiving. And in case you’ve not heard me say it before, dear Readers, I am grateful for you! Thank you for joining my tribe.

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Remember, Leadership is not about a title: Anyone can be a leader who offers thanks and appreciation and who shares gratitude as if it is an infinite resource (which it is!)

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Gratitude is just one of many things you can practice to upgrade your Happiness. Post this summary of The 13 Principles of Happiness on your fridge or wall and try out even more!

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II. The Executive Happiness Coach®

Contact me if you want to know more or are interested hiring a (virtual) speaker for your event or for coaching in the domains of leadership, executive presence, and health/wellness for you or a member of your team who wants to GROW!

Also please forward or share with others. Thank you!

Jim Smith, PCC, is The Executive Happiness Coach®, a global player in the space of Executive Coaching, Keynote speaking, and rapid culture change.

For more tips on Leadership, Coaching, and Happiness, visit JimSmith.Coach and download my report on "The Ten Terrible Habits That Undermine Leadership...and what to do about them before time runs out."

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