1,052 words of content, including tips to improve your self-talk. Content reading time: 4.21 minutes. Share it with a friend who needs to know you think they're great!

This newsletter speaks to Leadership, Happiness, and Coaching in your life and work. 

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I. DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOU?

What’s Inside Your Head?

Many of my clients begin with a goal to build a more solid leadership presence and/or to feel more confident when in meetings and making decisions. They are usually high achievers, about-to-be or recently promoted, who have outstanding track records and bright futures. 

Then we start coaching and learn that behind their shiny success they struggle to cope with new demands and conflicting priorities and often get stuck in negative self-talk loops. Sometimes they give it a name: Imposter Syndrome.

Imposter what…? 

A condition first named by two clinical psychologists (Clance & Imes) in 1978, Imposter Syndrome is “the condition of feeling anxious and not experiencing success internally, despite being high-performing in external, objective ways.” This condition often results in people feeling like a “fraud” or “not authentic” and doubting their abilities. 

The phenomenon was first described in professional women, but it’s a condition that men and women suffer equally. It often shows up when the new role requires skills you never needed before, yet rather than say, “I need to learn something new,” your head goes to “I should already know this!”

Imposterism versus Humility

Humility stems from an accurate assessment of your own capabilities and competencies, an acknowledgment that you cannot know and/or do everything. Imposter Syndrome, on the other hand, stems from a sense of inadequacy in an environment despite being objectively competent. It’s the sense that YOU are not enough, and you don’t belong, and believing that you are going to be exposed as a fraud at some point. 

Notice that this is not about whether you are good at what you do – it’s what you believe about yourself. 

Do you believe in YOU? 

Belief in oneself is an essential part of living a fulfilling life. It is the foundation upon which your hopes, dreams, and aspirations are built. However, for many people, this belief has been lost over time.

At the heart of self-belief is the idea of self-esteem -- the value you place on yourself, your abilities, and your worth as a person. It is the lens through which you see yourself and the world around you. Self-esteem can be positive or negative, and it can fluctuate over time depending on your experiences and the people who surround you.

Self-esteem is nothing new.

It’s a human construct, discussed by great thinkers for millennia. For example, Aristotle believed that a person's sense of self-worth was based on their ability to achieve their goals and fulfill their potential. He argued that people who had a positive self-image were more likely to be happy and successful in life (and we still believe that today).

Similarly, the philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau believed that self-esteem was crucial for personal fulfillment. He argued that people needed to feel valued and respected by others to have a positive sense of self-worth. 

However, self-belief is not just about external validation. It is also about how we see ourselves and the internal dialogue we have with ourselves. The philosopher Immanuel Kant believed that our self-esteem was based on the moral principles we hold ourselves to. He argued that people with high self-esteem were those who upheld their principles and values, even in the face of adversity.

Why is self-belief so important? 

For one, it is essential for mental health and well-being. People who have a positive self-image are less likely to suffer from anxiety and depression. They are also more resilient and better able to cope with setbacks and challenges and recover more quickly when anxiety does visit them.

Self-belief is also critical for achieving our goals and ambitions. When we believe in ourselves, we are more likely to take risks, try new things, and push ourselves to succeed. We are more likely to persist in the face of failure and setbacks, as we trust in our ability to overcome them.

Moreover, self-belief is contagious. When we believe in ourselves, we inspire others to believe in themselves too. Positive attitude and confidence can be infectious, and we can help others to see their own potential and worth. This explains why most of us like to hang around with happy or confident people – we want to “catch” what they have! 

I’m not gonna lie -- cultivating self-belief is not always easy. Many factors can contribute to a negative self-image, including past experiences, social pressures, toxic bosses, and internal doubts and fears. It takes time and effort to build a positive self-image and develop a strong sense of self-belief.

Tips to Believe in Yourself More

Here are five things you can do to foster stronger belief in YOU.

1. Focus on your strengths. Sure, sure, you have “weaknesses.” Here’s the thing – EVERYONE DOES! Let me repeat that, for those whose inner voices are screaming in denial right now: NO ONE IS GREAT AT EVERYTHING. So take time to list and appreciate what you ARE good at, and leverage that.
    
2. Acknowledge your accomplishments. Like the prior tip, it’s not how we usually do it. We focus on what’s NOT yet done. It’s worthwhile to focus forward AND why not also take a moment to appreciate what’s in your rearview mirror?! 

By regularly recognizing your strengths and achievements, you can build confidence in your abilities and capabilities. 

• Surround yourselves with people who support and encourage you. Having a positive support network can help you see yourself in a more positive light and provide you with the motivation and encouragement you need to pursue your goals. 
  Corollary: you might need to jettison or reduce contact with toxic people in your orbit. Or at least stop believing everything they say to/about you (remember, toxic people are almost always telling you more about themselves than about you.)
   
• Challenge your negative self-talk. We all have an internal voice that can be critical. It means well, and sometimes it helps drive us. But it is essential to balance negative thoughts with positive affirmations and constructive self-talk.
   
• Finally, make it a Habit. Self-belief needs to be maintained and nurtured over time. It is not a one-time achievement but a lifelong practice.

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Remember, Leadership is not about a title: Anyone can be a leader who believes in their own capacity. Confident people find it easier to hold a safe space for others to show up as their best selves, too!

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