I know it’s been a
long time since I sent out a newsletter, but the last year and a half have been a time of deep privacy for me.
When you are taking care of someone who is sick and dying (as I had been doing, with my beloved partner Rayya) your world becomes very small. By the end, your world will become no bigger than the bedroom in which your loved one is letting go of life. Your world and your time become small and intense, but precious. Like a diamond. This is how it should, be
during such seasons of loss.
Gradually, since Rayya died on January 4th, my world is becoming bigger again. I am opening back up to a larger life. This is an entirely new world for me. I have been inching my way through this new landscape, trying every day to answer the question, “What is a world without Rayya?” I don’t fully know the answer to that question yet. This may take a while to figure out. But so far, all I can report is that my new post-Rayya world is not
as horrible and empty as I had feared. There is much sadness, but that is to be expected. What I had not expected is that everywhere I turn, I keep bumping into love.
SO MUCH LOVE.
I am surrounded by the love of friends, the love of family, the love of a little white French bulldog named Chunky (who once belonged to Rayya, and now shares his days with me), the love of the great spiritual teachers (dead and alive), the love of perfect strangers,
the love of nature, the nourishing and enduring love of creativity, the love of Rayya (which I feel strongly and constantly, even though she is “gone”), and the love of God.
Much of that love has come from you all. I want to thank you for it. Thank you for your condolences, your letters, your poems, your kindness, your gestures of solidarity. You are such good people and I am grateful for your giant hearts. Please know that ALL the love you have sent to me has been
received with gratitude. And it helps. Love always helps the heart at which it is aimed, whether that love is delivered in person, or remotely. Bless you all, and thank you.
I also wanted to tell you that I will be doing just a few events this spring, and next autumn. Here’s a video telling you more!