Your Guide to Love, November 2012

Published: Thu, 11/15/12

Vol. 2 No. 11, November 2012    
How to Cultivate Gratitude After a Broken Heart

"When we lose one blessing, another is often, most unexpectedly, given in its place." - C.S. Lewis

When gratitude is the furthest thing from your mind

Much of the information about gratitude focuses on finding things and people in your life that you are grateful for and keeping a daily gratitude journal listing 3 to 5 things that you're thankful for. While this is a good practice, we're going to explore the kind of gratitude that's more difficult to cultivate.

This is the kind of gratitude when you're feeling down about love, when your love life isn't working out the way you want it to, and when you're stuck in the "why"...not able to make sense of what's happening or happened. It's when gratitude is the furthest thing from your mind. 

If you aren't used to looking for the gift that comes from difficult situations, you're not alone. Focusing on the negative keeps you down and stuck. Dwelling in negativity for too long becomes detrimental to your overall life (e.g. health, job, relationships with friends and family, etc.). When your heart is aching, it's hard to look through eyes of gratitude. Your gut reaction is to become immersed in denial, anger, bargaining and depression. 

So what's the best thing to do in this situation? Consider a more empowering way to transition from heartache to hope.

Try gratitude to change your life for the better. If you're experiencing heartache, process your emotions and don't let them keep you down for too long. Set a time limit for your depression and then make a conscious effort to move forward.

If it becomes difficult, ask a good friend for help. For instance, every time you start talking about your ex, have her ask you, "What is one positive aspect that came from your relationship ending?" This starts to train and open your mind to look for the gift in difficult situations. 

Shift your love life with gratitude

In order to be grateful, you must first have the desire, and an open mind and heart. If you're resistant and closed off, do things that will expand you and soothe your soul. Get a massage, spend time in nature, smell the fragrance of flowers, wrap a cozy blanket around you, listen to uplifting music, get together with positive friends, ask mind expanding questions, etc. 

Click here
 to continue learning how to shift your love life with gratitude.