Dear
,
When you first meet a special man, doesn't it feel as if you're floating on air and the stars are aligned? Birds sing, the sun shines brighter and everything seems perfect. Yet as time goes on, you may sense his attention waning towards you.
It’s at this stage where you may make the fatal mistake of trying harder. You may initiate more, and behave and act in ways you think appeals to him, so that he'll be interested again. But what really happens when
you do that?
Are You Devaluing Yourself?
Most of us have tried too hard which turns men off. Because in trying too hard, we devalue ourselves in ways like putting up with his insensitive behaviors, chasing after him, not questioning red flags, agreeing to things we don’t feel good about it, sacrificing our integrity and eventually becoming his doormat. If you're in this situation or tend to behave in the above ways, you're teaching a man to devalue you and
treat you poorly.
Stop trying so hard. Let him come to you. Men are wired to place a higher value on things they have to work for, which includes winning a woman’s love and affection. This isn’t about playing games. It’s about letting a man be the man and letting yourself relax instead of trying so hard.
Relax and Let Him Come to You
Relaxing has multiple benefits. When
you relax, you get to choose instead of chase. This lets you see him for who is really is. You get to see if you are interested in him or the idea of him, notice and respond to red flags, and enjoy the journey more. Instead of thinking of ways to catch his interest, consider this alternative, healthier approach.
Healthy Ways to Catch and Keep His Attention
These seemingly counterintuitive ways to have a man’s attention may be different than what you’re used to. If
you haven’t yet found the way to attract and keep a man’s interest, practicing these five healthy ways will bring you positive results.
1. Let yourself be wooed
In this day and age, many men and women tend to hang out and hook up. Some
women initiate and pursue, rather than responding to men. Instead of rushing things, take time to get to know each other before having sex. In doing so, he will experience and connect with you at a deeper level instead of just a woman to have sex with.
2. Live your life
Don’t put your life on hold because you’re waiting around for his calls or for him to ask you out. Live your life. Do things you love. Discover new passions. If he doesn’t enjoy some of your
interests, do them without him, with yourself or someone else. Spend time alone and with friends and family.
3. Reveal and share slowly
When you really like a man, you might feel the need to let him know everything about you in a short period of time. Some things are better left unspoken. A little mystery is good. Let conversations and subjects take their natural course instead of prematurely forcing and rushing.
4. Be secure in
yourself
Know your worth by determining and honoring what you will and won’t accept from a man and relationship. Determine and live your core values. When you know your worth, men will treat you with respect.
5. Be genuine
When you’re worried about what he is going to think
or do, you’ll behave and act in ways that are not who you are. Ultimately, you want to be with a man who will love the real you (the good, the quirky and the not so good). The only way to have this is to behave and act in ways that let you feel comfortable in your own skin.
Try Less, Have More
Trying too hard comes across as desperation, which is never an attractive quality to men. In the short term, it may keep men who aren’t good for you around, the kind of men
who take advantage of you and treat you poorly. To keep a high quality man, try less and have more happiness, love, peace and his attention.
What's your biggest takeaway and what will you do differently?
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