Hope graduated from Grenoble University. Being from the U.S. that word has elaborate connotations involving a platform, speeches, black robes, and tassels. Yet it turns out that those are not necessarily universal. Perhaps it is because of the enormous financial investment necessary for a college degree in the states that
hoopla is a reasonable response. In France the tuition amounts to less than a semester of textbooks in an Ivy League school. That may be why no one expects a parade.
But we wanted to celebrate. Hope's oldest brother sent a mortarboard, and her sister lent a smart black jacket to go over her white dress. Of course there were heels. She held a bouquet of roses, and smiled
through a photo shoot in memorable places on campus. Then we went out for dinner.
As a flourish her sister suggested that we buy Hope a dress. John and I were happy to plunk ourselves near the dressing room while her two sisters pulled frilly contestants off the racks. The fashion show continued for some time. I asked on a family chat whether any siblings wanted to pitch
in, and another sister immediately offered to sponsor it. That meant that Hope could choose two. She was happier than any accolade from a college president could make her. The saleslady kept checking on us to assure herself that we were not simply annoying tourists with no interest in handing over a credit card. Finally, Hope decided on a flowered knee length, and a bright blue one. We strolled home under our umbrellas.
Then her brother in a different time zone chimed in with his eagerness to pay for one too. How sweet it will be each time she pulls them from her closet, to recall the generosity of her siblings across the ocean. Yet that meant that in the end I did not subsidize the purchase. Which made me laugh.
It astonishes me to
flit through the history of gifting in our family. It began with me festooning the floor beneath the spruce branches, with more variety in nametags as babies were born. Somewhere along the way kids added their own offerings of clay dolphins, and calendars with quilt pictures for their mother. Gradually they gave to one another, and the benevolence exploded such that unwrapping lasted long into Christmas night. As they stepped into healthy incomes, the largess grew to include truly show stopping
gestures.
I was moved by this celebration, and how it could include even those far away. John and I had traveled to be with her, and yet Hope's siblings were present in a way that could not be dullled by distance.
"Thought itself also brings
about presence; for a person who is in one's thoughts appears and is so to speak present before one's inward sight. In the next life this is what happens in actual effect, for when anyone there thinks intently about another person, that person comes to be standing present there." Secrets of Heaven 6893