A friend was struggling with her role as a mother of adult kids. How much should she help? Is sending money just enabling? Her circumstances were such that she could afford to, because she has a job she enjoys. But is it crossing boundaries?
I had no pithy words for her, but another woman did.
"Being able to support someone I love feels like a gift. There was a time when our finances were terrible, and we could not send anything to my mother, who was barely making it. It broke my heart."
I sat quietly. Last week, another friend was telling me about the grief of being estranged from her daughter. For the past few years, communication has depleted to almost nothing. Needing one another is one of the ribbons that connect us. Maybe God does this on purpose.
My attention came back to the women sitting beside
me. The friend who was hurting asked for reassurance that her child will be fine.
The wiser woman smiled. "It is not that your son will be fine. He already is."
"Thy will be done" is a prayer I say almost every day. For me, it suggests, no
promises, that God is taking exquisite care of those people I love. To try to breathe into the reality that God is orchestrating the starry paths of each beloved child, and that if it falls to me to be part of that sacred work, I am blessed.