I have never given much thought to Judas. The series The Chosen has added more background to the events around Easter. Not that they are in any way as sacred as scripture, but they do help me understand the context.
When Jesus met Judas in the movie, there was an unspoken dynamic. Jesus knew what was ahead, including the betrayal, but
Judas smiled as if he would always be loyal. Jesus did not reveal evidence of disappointment, or anxiety. Even understanding that death was in their relationship, Jesus loved this flawed man.
When I welcomed babies into my arms, I fully believed that I would always do the best I could for them. As it turned out, sometimes I didn't. Yet I could perceive no hesitation on God's part as He gave them into my imperfect care. Which astonishes me. He knew long before I
did, that I would stumble. Yet somehow He still trusted me with His beloved children.
How is this? Omniscience is an attribute that brings with it the perspective that includes yesterday's missteps, today's uncertainty, and tomorrow's regrets. To trust a partner or a parent who fully intends to be faithful takes one level of devotion. Embracing another with the sure knowledge that they will deny you is quite another.
This Easter
my intention is to let go of my determination to always get it right. Which is exhausting even on a good day. I will breathe into the acceptance of being loved by a Parent that knows I will fail.