I have been part of the shepherd's choir for many years at our church. There are logistics, like finding a costume that fits, and getting to practices on time. All of us go over the words to get them right. The conductor reminds us to smile, and enunciate. Then when the actual event happens, I shift from memorization to experience. It is magical.
I
am watching the series The Chosen. There are hundreds, perhaps thousands of people who have shown up to participate. I wonder what it has meant to them, to try to embody Mary, or a Roman guard. When Nicodemus faces the chance to either follow Jesus or stay in the comfortable life his wife wants, he weeps. How did it feel to convey that choice? The children who befriend Jesus, and grow to trust him are darling. Simon Peter is a complex man, both fiercely protective of Jesus and annoyed by other
disciples. Matthew is portrayed as having autism, which of course has meaning for me.
Reading the bible can be a bit removed. Holding the battles, and miracles at arms length, can weaken their power. When I plunk myself in the middle of the action, it springs to life. My faithfulness wavers, just like Simon Peter. My lack of confidence mirrors that of Mary Magdalene. The fear that paralyzes me is what Jesus addresses when He speaks to the fishermen on the
boat.
Most of the year I am not in costume. My decisions are less about walking to Samaria, than they are about helping an elderly man get errands done. But what if I can internalize those characters, the shortcomings as much as the heroics? Then the things I have practiced become alive.