One of the principles I’ve learned from my training in life and leadership coaching is the importance of our “personal environment.” Our environment will either support or sabotage our efforts at life-change.
We tend to think that in order to change, we need new information and increased motivation. This is especially true of Christians. We are repeatedly reminded — by teachers(!) — that what we need most is more teaching.
But when it comes to deeply ingrained urges and habits — like those related to our sexual behaviors —
teaching is not enough. More knowledge is not enough.
If our environment stays the same — full of the temptations, triggers, and frustrations that cause us to turn to our compulsive behaviors — we will fall back into those behaviors … no matter how much we have learned, or how motivated we have become.
Willpower is a limited commodity. We don’t have enough of it to sustain life change if our environment is not aligned with our new commitments. The principle can be stated this way:
Environmental change drives life change.
Willpower won’t
work.
Just to be precise: It’s not exactly true that willpower doesn’t work. It does work … for a while. That’s what makes this so confusing. BUT it doesn’t work as a long term strategy, because we get tired of exerting it, and/or we get distracted
by other things. Then the next thing we know … we’re drifting back into the same old, destructive behaviors.
Imagine being an alcoholic, and working as a bartender. Imagine trying to lose weight, and living in a home filled with snacks, junk food, homemade bread and cinnamon roles, and ice cream. Imagine trying to quit smoking, while carrying
around a pack of cigarettes and a lighter with you.
In the battle between will-power and our environment … environment pretty much always (eventually) wins.
