Hello again , I hope all is well with you? Here are some things that I hope will help and interest you.
More from the Personal Life Analysis |
Dealing with difficulties We have nearly finished working our way through my free Personal Life Analysis, where you score different areas of your life. You then get a nice full colour chart pinpointing the areas you can
focus on that are likely to make the most difference.
This time we are looking at dealing with difficulties, which can be summarised as Resilience.
I love to see where words come from, as this can be very revealing. Inside RESILIENCE there is a Latin
root, salire, meaning "to jump, leap". It's amazing how many abstract words come from such embodied, physical meanings.
So, jumping back up, with energy...it makes me think of those vintage Kelly Man toys that no matter how hard you hit them they bounce right
back up.
For us it's about what we do with adversity. Everyone experiences it and no-one can escape it. But you may notice that some people seem to sail through life no matter what happens, and others are floored
if they break a nail.
The good news is that acting resiliently is a skill that can be learned. It's not entirely an inborn capacity that you either have or you don't. You can make changes to your thinking, behaviour and
lifestyle. Here are some ways to improve your resilience, - Look for positive interpretations in a situation
- Keep things in perspective
- Accept help
- Control the things you can and don't stress about what you can't
- Look after your physical health, especially your
sleep
- Help other people
You can read more from Michael Neenan, an expert in this field, here.
How resilient do you think you are? And is there
one thing you could do today to increase it?
Are things going SWIMMINGLY for you? |
You see lots of different kinds of swimmers; those who just dive in, look fantastic in Lycra and swim effortlessly up and down for a hundred lengths as if they'd been born to it.
Then you get those who make a great splash, all over everybody else and they're really messy, not to mention inefficient. Sometimes they get in people's way too; they don't get the lane discipline and which way you are supposed to swim if there are more people in than usual. They don't see that they are stopping you doing your nice long clear lengths either! You find out what rules you have in a pool when other
people transgress them!
There are lots of life lessons in a swimming pool. When I get in I just surrender to the water and go right underneath, where I can't breathe; and it takes trust to know that nevertheless, I will be all right. And I swim best when I don't fight the water, but go with the flow, working with it rather than against it. So now I can do a pretty decent front
crawl whereas before I struggled to get the breathing right. A big change for me.
So there are lots of metaphors around swimming, water, flow, immersion. The appreciation of metaphor is nothing new in human culture, but there are new applications of the understanding of metaphor, especially in clean language and
clean coaching. The governing idea is that we think in metaphors and pictures (as you saw I did at the start) and that when we become aware of them and develop and investigate them, this can lead to dramatic shifts in our understanding of any situation, clearing the way (see what I did there?) to changes in behaviour, attitudes and life as a whole.
It's a different way to look at a situation, and the two main questions will almost always get you started in finding a new viewpoint.
They're very simple.
Let's say your topic,
issue, concern, wish is X.
The first question is, What kind of X is that X?
Then - is there anything else about that X?
You can ask the second question several times to get more detail.
Without going through the full
clean coaching process, you can apply just these two questions in your daily life, in conversation with others or even yourself. The results can be striking!
Why not give it a go, and let me know how you get on?
I hope it goes swimmingly!
How's your Executive State? |
I regularly work with senior executives and there is a slightly different process from more personal and well-being coaching. Lately I've been sharing that with you, as you are all people with jobs or
things to do, and the questions may help you reflect and improve the way you do things. You can try the full questionnaire for free here - it's set out as an intake form but you can ignore any bits that aren't relevant.
Here is another question - Are all your talents being fully used, and do you feel a sense of agency and control in what you do?
Does this tell you anything about your work situation, and what could change for the better in it?
What's going on at This Coaching Business |
Just to remind you, I shall be out of the UK for a while from mid September, so there won't be any face to face work then. I won't be responding to phone calls but I will see email and social media.
But you can still access my online courses, which are now hosted by Thinkific. The first one is here, it has a free trial section and it's all about the simple things you can do to increase your well being.
I've just put up the next one, about how to start making changes if you are not happy in your job or career. There's a free trial section again, and I'd love some feedback on them all!
Let me know if there is anything I can assist you with, and I'll be in touch again soon. P.S. if you like this update and you got it from someone else then you can get your own personal regular copy by signing up safely here. Please feel free to share it with anyone you think may like it; just keep the attribution to me. You also get a free download on sign up that will help you increase your well being, effectiveness and resilience. |
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