Hello again , and greetings from the other side of the world! Things do look different from here - for a start the stars are upside down, which is quite a perceptual shift.
More from the Personal Life Analysis |
We are almost done working our way through my free Personal Life Analysis, where you score different areas of your life. You then get a nice full colour chart pinpointing the areas you can focus on that are likely to make the most difference for you.
This time we are looking at doing things for other
people. You might think it's odd having this in a questionnaire to do with your well-being; but research does show that helping others and being kind is good for you. There are lots of
references about this, and here's just one. There are lots more on the Random Acts of Kindness website here. Wisdom and spiritual traditions knew this all along, of course, but
it's interesting to see that science now backs it up.
It doesn't have to be anything really huge, to make a difference, and it doesn't even require you to suffer first! Here are a few examples of easy but kind activities,
- Giving way in traffic
- Opening a door for
someone
- Offering to make a drink for someone
- Giving a compliment
- Doing the washing up even if it isn't your 'turn'
You can set an intention to do five kind things every day for a while and see how it makes you feel.
I'd love to know how you get on!
How Ulysses can help you stick to your decisions |
I'm always reading something, and at the moment I am deep into The Brain by David Eagleman.
It's one of those books where I go 'Wow!' on every page, marvelling at the infinite complexity of everything, but what I want to mention especially here is what he says about decision making. We don't, as we might like to think, naturally make decisions
rationally on the basis of careful comparison of alternatives, although of course there is a place for this in certain situations. But in everyday life, every decision is the result of a tussle in the brain between various parts, such as the reward system, and the bit that knows about long term consequences. And if something is right in front of us, it is much more appealing and hard to resist.
So where does Ulysses come in?
Well if you dust off your Greek mythology, you may recall that on the way home from the Trojan War, Ulysses had to pass the Sirens. They were beautiful enchanted women living on an isolated island and no man could resist their song. Thus they would be drawn in, never to be seen again.
Ulysses was a sensible chap and didn't kid himself he would be any more able to resist. ( How often do we open the chocolates and say, I'll just have one, and before you know it they've all gone?)
So he got his crew to tie him to the
mast while they were passing by, with strict orders not to release him till the danger was past, whatever he said. And so he survived. Applying this to ourselves, when we know something is good for us and we don't do it, or bad for us and we do, we can anticipate our weakness and outwit our neurology. Here's a couple of
thoughts, - If you think you might eat the lot, don't have chocolate or other tempting items in the house!
- To keep to your plans to go to the gym, arrange to meet a friend there. It's harder to let them down than to let yourself
down.
Can you think of any strategies you could apply to your life? Oh, and if you were wondering how Ulysses's crew resisted the Sirens, Ulysses had another idea - he got them to stop their ears with wax so they couldn't hear the song. A very inventive chap!
How's your Executive State? |
I regularly work with senior executives and there is a slightly different process from more personal and well-being coaching. Lately I've been sharing that with you, as you are all people with jobs or
things to do, and the questions may help you reflect and improve the way you do things. You can try the full questionnaire for free here - it's set out as an intake form but you can ignore any bits that aren't relevant.
Here is another question - continuing the Kindness theme, Do you feel appreciated and valued for the work you do?
The other side of this, of course, is, do you do this for others?
What's going on at This Coaching Business |
Just to remind you that I am out of the UK at present so there won't be any face to face work until the end of October. But you can still access my online courses, which are now hosted by Thinkific. There are at least two now, and you can see them here. All have a free trial section, and I would welcome feedback about it.
On my return I will be offering a limited number of face to face or remote personal and executive coaching sessions, for senior managers and entrepreneurs, especially in health and social care. Of course this often overlaps with personal coaching as we are all
people first, even if we do have super important jobs.
If you're wondering about what coaching involves and whether to undertake it yourself, you can book a short free no obligation call with me here for when I get back.
Let me know if there is anything I can assist you with, and I'll be in touch again
soon. P.S. if you like this update and you got it from someone else then you can get your own personal regular copy by signing up safely here. Please feel free to share it with anyone you think may like it; just keep the attribution to me. You also get a free download on sign up that will help you increase your well being, effectiveness and resilience. |
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